Learning to Heal

I think I’ve activated a system. Whenever I get close to Ted, a deposit magically appears in my bank account. I asked him carefully, “You haven’t signed the papers from last night, have you?” He sneered. “What? Having second thoughts?” I plastered on my most shameless smile. “I had a dream last night. My grandpa was yelling at me from the great beyond. He said he just got settled in his grave, and I’m already pulling this stunt.” “He said we should at least wait until he’s reincarnated before we get a divorce.”

1 This morning at 7:58 AM, I confirmed this earth-shattering discovery. We were in the kitchen. I was turning around with a piece of whole-wheat toast in my mouth when I walked straight into someone’s chest. Ted’s eyes were bloodshot, like he’d been up all night. And I wasn’t wearing a bra. “S-sorry!” I crossed my arms over my chest. “It’s eight. I thought you’d already left for work.” He didn’t say anything. He just moved around me, opened the fridge, and poured a glass of ice water, gulping it down. His Adam’s apple bobbed, and a stray drop of water slid from the corner of his mouth, tracing a path down his jawline and disappearing into his collar. I stared, mesmerized, as that tempting droplet vanished at his collarbone. The next second, my pajama pocket vibrated. [Bank Account +$50,000] The sender was anonymous, the memo blank. It was like a transfer from another dimension. I stood there for a full minute, clutching my phone in a daze. It wasn’t until Ted was fully dressed and we were sitting across from each other at the breakfast table, the atmosphere as chilly as two strangers sharing a table, that I moved. There was only one apple left on the plate. We both reached for it at the same time. His hand covered mine. His palm was searing hot, and I snatched my hand back as if burned, laughing nervously. “You have it! You have it!” Ted stared at me. Honestly, his gaze was so sharp you could have peeled the apple with it. He picked it up and took a loud, crisp bite. Over the crunch, my phone screen lit up again. [+$20,000]

2 At this point, my brilliant mind had pieced together the following: Bumping into his chest (large-scale physical contact) = $50,000. Back of my hand touching his (brief skin contact) = $20,000. The more intimate the contact, the bigger the payout (hypothesis pending verification). Conclusion: Ted = a human ATM. This realization made me stare at the man across from me, who was methodically eating his apple. My gaze grew hotter and hotter. He set down the core and wiped his hands. “I’ll sign the papers tonight.” “Wait!” I blurted out. Ted looked up at me. “What? Having second thoughts?” “Well…” My brain went into overdrive. “I had a dream last night. My grandpa was yelling at me. Said he just got settled in his grave, and I’m already pulling this stunt. He said we should at least wait until he’s reincarnated before we get a divorce.” I added a sheepish grin. “And, hey, you wouldn’t want to disappoint your grandpa either, right?” The air was silent for a few seconds. He tugged at the corner of his mouth. “My grandfather passed away three years ago. By your logic, he should be in kindergarten by now.” “Kindergarten curriculum is very demanding. We shouldn’t distract him.” Ted looked at me as if I were a new and fascinating species of alien. After a moment, he stood up and grabbed his suit jacket. “Whatever you want. The company is expanding anyway. I don’t have time to deal with the paperwork.” As he walked toward the door, my eyes lit up. I dashed over and knelt down in front of him. “Let me get your shoes!” He froze, his voice tight. “Anya, what are you doing?” “Helping you with your shoes, of course,” I said, grabbing his ankle. “These leather shoes look best with your suit, but the laces are such a pain. Oh, and your tie is a little crooked. Let me fix that for you.” My fingers crept up his chest, my fingertips “accidentally” brushing against his Adam’s apple. Ted’s breath hitched. “There!” I stood up straight, beaming like a top salesperson who’d just smashed their quota. “Drive safe!” The door clicked shut. I excitedly pulled out my phone. Unlock—open messages— [+$30,000] Thirty thousand! Combined with the seventy thousand from this morning, that was a hundred grand in half an hour! I clutched my phone, whispering, “System? Are you there, System? Come out and chat for a minute?” No response. I’ve read enough novels to know that some systems are chatty and demanding, while others are the strong, silent type. Mine was clearly the latter. But I didn’t care. Humming a tune, I danced back into the living room and picked up the landline to call my best friend. “Hello? Mia! You are not going to believe this. I’ve been blessed by the god of wealth.” “In English, please.” “Every time I touch Ted, I get money. It’s like killing monsters and getting gold drops in a video game. I made a hundred grand in half an hour this morning!” There was a second of silence on the other end, followed by a piercing scream. “I told you, Anya! Ted is hot and rich! He gives you a hundred grand for one night? Sleep with him for a lifetime and you’ll be a billionaire! Wait… but why was it so short? Only… half an hour?” I knew what she was thinking, but I couldn’t be bothered to explain. “The thing is, I just asked for a divorce. It feels kind of lame to go back on my word now.” “A divorce? What’s a divorce worth?” Mia sounded like she wanted to shake me. “Your little non-profit is hundreds of thousands in the red. It’s going to shut down next month. You have over a hundred kids counting on you. Do you have a backup plan?” She’d hit my weak spot. “And what’s not to like about him? Is the black card in his suit pocket too uncomfortable? Or does he unbutton your shirt too fast at night?” “Anya,” her tone suddenly turned serious. “Ask yourself this. Do you really not like him, even a little bit?” I held the receiver, unable to answer. The divorce papers were still on the coffee table. I remembered last night, when I handed them to him. He was on the phone by the French windows. He hung up, turned, and his eyes scanned the black and white pages, finally settling on my face. “So, the day has finally come?” “Our grandfathers are gone,” I said calmly. “There’s no need to force this anymore.” He walked toward me but didn’t take the papers. “Anya, these three years must have been so hard on you.” “The feeling’s mutual,” I replied. He suddenly reached out, his fingertips tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. I instinctively flinched back. “You’ve lost weight. Is the charity work that demanding?” “It’s fine. Can’t compare to you.” He turned away and headed for the study. “Don’t worry. I’ve been looking forward to this day for a long time, too.”

3 That night, Ted didn’t get home until ten. He reeked of alcohol. I was curled up on the sofa, looking at my charity’s financial statements. The red numbers were glaring. An eight-hundred-thousand-dollar deficit gaped at me like a monster waiting to devour children. “Still up?” He loosened his tie, his voice heavy with exhaustion. “Waiting for you.” An idea sparked in my mind. I closed my laptop. “Want some soup to sober up? I’ll go make some!” He seemed taken aback. “You know how?” “I’ll learn!” I bounced into the kitchen and emerged less than ten minutes later with a bowl of soup that looked highly questionable. “…Wanna try?” Ted stared intently at the bowl of unidentifiable sludge. “It’s not poisoned,” I said defensively. “I looked it up online.” I pushed the bowl toward him. He had no choice but to pick it up and down it in one go, as if facing his doom. He immediately started coughing violently. I cupped his flushed, dazed face in my hands. “How do you feel? A little better?” “It’s… it’s disgusting.” My smile froze. “And now I feel even worse.” I cleared my throat, trying to salvage the situation. “How about I give you a head massage? My dad always gets headaches after drinking, and my mom does this for him.” But he pulled away from my touch. “No, thanks. I’m going to bed.” He looked at me. “Thanks for the soup.” “Don’t mention it!” I put on my best customer-service smile. “It was my pleasure!” “Anya,” he said suddenly. “Why are you suddenly…” “Hmm?” “Never mind.” He shook his head and went to his room. “Goodnight.” “Goodnight!” The moment he was out of sight, I whipped out my phone. The screen lit up. [+$80,000] I clapped a hand over my mouth and fell back onto the sofa, laughing, my legs kicking in the air. That night, I had a dream. I dreamed that Ted had turned into a giant money tree. I was perched on a branch, happily picking the jingling gold coins. He stood below, calling up helplessly, “Anya, you’re crushing my leaves!” I looked down at him. “A leaf for ten thousand dollars. Want one?” He sighed and opened his arms. “Jump. I’ll catch you.” Without a moment’s hesitation, I leaped— And then I woke up.

4 “There’s a business gala on Friday,” Ted announced suddenly at breakfast. “Partners are expected. Are you free?” In the past, I always made excuses to get out of these things. I hated the fake small talk, hated being scrutinized under the title of “Mrs. Astley.” But this time, I nodded. His eyes were searching. “The charity isn’t busy?” “A wife has her duties, no matter how busy she is, right?” I wiped my mouth with a napkin. “We’re not divorced yet, after all.” He smiled faintly but didn’t say anything. Suddenly, his expression shifted. He watched as I walked over to his side of the table, napkin in hand, and leaned down, smiling at him. “You…” “Don’t move.” It was the first time we’d been this close. Close enough to see the fine texture of his skin, to smell the crisp, clean scent of his aftershave. Through the napkin, the pad of my finger gently pressed against his cheek. I wiped away a tiny fleck of coffee foam. “There.” My smile was angelic. “Perfect.” My phone vibrated again.

5 On Friday evening, Ted handed me a gift box. “Change into this.” Inside was a long, velvet dress in a deep forest green, elegantly tailored. At first glance, it seemed fine. But when I put it on, I realized the neckline was… a bit more daring than I’d anticipated. When I came downstairs, he was waiting in the living room. Black suit, silver cufflinks, his long legs crossed in a way that should have been illegal. The moment he saw me, his pupils visibly dilated. I awkwardly clutched the two suggestive pieces of fabric over my chest. “Does it look okay?” He walked over and draped a white shawl over my shoulders. “It’s gotten colder today,” he said. “I’m not cold…” “Wear it.” His tone left no room for argument. His fingers brushed against my bare shoulder, lingering for a second too long. At the gala, I was the only one who got the “colder weather” memo. All the other women were dressed to the nines, their figures on full display. I was the only one wrapped in a long shawl that nearly reached my ankles, not even a collarbone in sight. Ted parked me at the dessert table. “Just stay here and eat. Don’t wander off.” I watched him navigate the crowd with ease, and I suddenly felt the distance between us. This was the real him. In just a few short years since graduation, he had gone from a campus star to a rising tycoon. Compared to someone like me, who was constantly scrambling in the world of charity work, covered in metaphorical dust, we were in two completely different worlds. “Ted!” A woman in a red gown holding a glass of champagne approached him, linking her arm through his naturally. I recognized her. The daughter of some real estate mogul. A few months ago, a business magazine had run a story about their rumored romance. Although the next day, the copy of that magazine I’d been reading mysteriously vanished from our house. The woman stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. Ted didn’t pull away. My fork sank into a slice of cream cake. It’s fine, I told myself. Three years. I’m used to it. The unfamiliar perfumes, the lipstick stains on his white collars—they were all proof that we didn’t love each other. But why did my chest feel so tight? When the music started, I made a decision. I put down my plate, took off the shawl, and walked toward the dance floor. To the stunned surprise of everyone around us, I squeezed past the woman in red, took Ted’s hand, and placed it on his shoulder. “She seems to really like you. Want me to run some interference?” His smile was teasing. “Jealous?” “I just don’t want people to think Mr. Astley means nothing to his own wife.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his chest. “Let’s dance. Just one dance.” The melody was beautiful, the lights swirling overhead. His palm was hot against my waist, even through the fabric. I heard a strong, steady heartbeat. Thump, thump, thump. It was getting faster. For a moment, I forgot what I was doing. I forgot about the system, the bank account, the calculated touches and contrived closeness.

6 The day the money in my bank account passed five hundred thousand, I went to see Sean. The cemetery was on the north side of the city. The little girl he had saved comes every year. She’s ten now, with her hair in a ponytail. She showed me her honor roll certificate. “Anya,” she said quietly after laying down her flowers, “are you happy now?” I stroked her hair. “Yes.” “That’s good.” She smiled sweetly. “After Sean passed, my biggest wish was for you to be happy.” My eyes stung. It started pouring on the way back. When I got home, Ted was sitting in the living room. The TV was on, tuned to a financial news channel, but he didn’t seem to be watching, just fiddling with the remote. “Where were you?” he asked. “The cemetery,” I said, taking off my wet coat. “The one on the south side?” His voice was flat, cold. “Both our grandfathers are buried there.” “No, the one on the north side.” I was exhausted. “I was visiting an old friend.” He didn’t ask anything else. After a long silence, he turned off the TV, tossed the remote down with a clatter, and stood up to go to his study. “Since you’re so determined to get a divorce, Ms. Thorne, please keep your distance from me. Let’s not give anyone the wrong idea.” A fire ignited in my chest. “Don’t you worry, I’ve already found a new place. I can move out anytime! Besides, this house isn’t that big. How am I supposed to ‘keep my distance’ when we’re constantly running into each other?” He stopped and turned around. “Isn’t that big? I seem to recall someone, on her very first day here, remarking that this house was big enough to raise cattle. Now you’re saying it’s too cramped?”

7 That night, I dreamed of Sean. It was the same reservoir, the same struggling child in the water. I screamed frantically, “Don’t go! It’s too far, Sean, don’t go in!” But he jumped in anyway. Without a second thought. The moment the water swallowed him, the world went white. The man I had loved for four years, the man who had just been excitedly planning our future together, was now a cold, lifeless body. I woke up screaming. Covered in sweat, shaking uncontrollably. The door was suddenly thrown open. Ted rushed in, found me in the darkness, and pulled me into a fierce embrace. “It’s okay! It’s okay!”