A Spotless Life

Three months postpartum, and I broke my leg. My husband, Mark, felt terrible for me. He spared no expense, hiring the most sought-after maternity nurse in the city. The deposit alone was five thousand dollars. My mom was looking over the nurse’s resume, gushing with praise and just about to call to have her start the next day. I pressed the end-call button on her phone. “Don’t bother. Aunt Brenda is about to swoop in and try to steal her.” For as long as I can remember, my mother has played the role of a living saint. The second my aunt’s family started crying poor, every good thing we had was offered up to them first. My mom proudly called it “helping others,” oblivious to the fact that behind her back, Aunt Brenda called her a “gullible fool.” But my mother insisted I was the cynical one, that her sister-in-law wasn’t that kind of person. She picked up the phone to dial again. Just then, the door swung open. It was Aunt Brenda, grabbing my mother’s hand and immediately starting to dab at her eyes. She wailed that her daughter-in-law’s milk hadn’t come in and begged my mom to let them have the maternity nurse. My mom stood there, phone in hand, looking utterly mortified. I crossed my arms, a cold smirk on my face. “Well, Mom? What’s it going to be this time? Yes or no?”

1. Aunt Brenda wiped at tears that weren’t there, her eyes darting to my mother’s face. “Sharon, you know my grandson was born premature. He’s so fragile, and his mother can’t produce any milk. If we don’t have a professional looking after him, I’m afraid the baby might not…” She let the sentence hang, swallowing the word “die” but leaving the terror of it to poison the air. My mother, predictably, took the bait. She glanced at my leg, hoisted high in its plaster cast, then at my daughter sleeping peacefully in her bassinet. My mom bit her lip and turned to me. “Anna, you heard her. This is a life-or-death situation for your aunt’s family.” “Your leg is already broken. It just needs time to heal. But if that baby dies, it would be a terrible sin.” A bitter laugh escaped my lips. I pointed to my leg, then to the bassinet. “Mom, I am your daughter. Your daughter. I just gave birth, I have a broken leg, and I can’t even take care of myself.” “Mark paid a five-thousand-dollar deposit for this nurse specifically because she has a background in physical therapy and rehabilitation.” “And you want me to just give her away? What about me? What about your granddaughter?” My mother’s brow furrowed, as if I were being completely unreasonable. “Why do you have to be so selfish?” “You have money. You can just hire another one. Your aunt’s family is struggling; they can’t afford someone like this.” “Saving a life is the greatest good you can do. Don’t you understand something so simple?” Sensing my mother’s resolve wavering, Aunt Brenda immediately pressed her advantage. “That’s right, Anna. We all know you’re doing well for yourself, not like us, poor as church mice.” “About the nurse’s salary… we could chip in a few hundred bucks, you know, as a token of our appreciation. For the rest, maybe you could…” Unbelievable. Not only did she want the nurse, but she also wanted me to foot the bill. She wanted me to pay for someone to take care of her grandson. And my mother was actually nodding along. “A few hundred is a nice gesture. Anna’s not short on cash.” A fire ignited in my chest. This wasn’t my mother; she was an unofficial member of Aunt Brenda’s household. I grabbed the mug from my bedside table and hurled it to the floor. CRACK! The sharp sound echoed through the room. Water splashed everywhere, and a shard of ceramic skittered to a stop near Aunt Brenda’s foot. She shrieked and jumped back. “My God! Are you trying to kill me?” My mom, startled at first, shot me a thunderous look. “Anna! What is wrong with you? Have you lost all your manners?” “You want manners? Fine.” “This nurse is under an exclusive contract. The cancellation fee is ten thousand dollars.” “Whoever wants to take her can put that ten grand on the table right now.” “Furthermore, her services were approved as a special benefit through my husband’s company. Transferring her privately could be considered fraud. We can call the police right now and see what a judge thinks about that.” The mention of “ten thousand” and “police” made Aunt Brenda’s face go pale. People like her were terrified of spending money and even more terrified of jail time. Her eyes shifted nervously. She resorted to whining. “Oh, Sharon, look at your Anna. The richer she gets, the stingier she becomes. Who is she trying to scare…” “Fine, don’t lend her to us! Why go crazy over it? It’s true what they say: the rich forget all about their poor relatives!” Muttering under her breath, Aunt Brenda stormed out, spitting on the floor for good measure on her way through the door. I thought my mom might ask if I had hurt myself in my anger. Instead, her face was a stony mask as she pointed a finger at me and began her tirade. “You chased your aunt away over such a trivial matter. How am I supposed to face our relatives now?” “Everyone praises me, calls me a saint, and you! You’re determined to ruin my reputation!”

2. My mother lectured me for a solid thirty minutes. She only stopped when Mark got home. He came in looking tired from a long day, carrying a strawberry cheesecake, my favorite. The moment he stepped inside, he could feel the tense atmosphere. The broken porcelain was still on the floor. My mother was on the sofa, wiping her eyes, while I lay in bed, my face a cold mask. Mark’s expression changed instantly. He didn’t even bother to take off his shoes before rushing to my bedside. “Honey, what’s wrong? Is your leg hurting?” He anxiously checked my cast, then glanced at our sleeping daughter, breathing a sigh of relief only when he confirmed we were both okay. Seeing Mark, my mom found a new audience for her grievances. “Mark, you be the judge of this.” “Anna is becoming more and more cold-hearted. Her own relatives are in trouble. What’s wrong with lending a hand?” “Her aunt was practically on her knees, and she threatened to call the police on her!” After hearing the whole story, the warmth vanished from Mark’s face. He stood up, positioning himself between me and my mother, his tone firm. “Mom, the nurse was hired to care for Anna and our baby.” “Anna has a broken bone. She needs professional care right now. If we let the nurse go and Anna’s injury doesn’t heal properly, who’s going to be responsible?” “You are Anna’s mother. Is some outsider’s opinion more important than your own daughter’s health?” My mother was speechless. She clearly hadn’t expected her usually polite son-in-law to confront her so directly. She froze for a moment, then, flustered and angry, she resorted to playing the victim. “Oh, wonderful. Now the two of you are ganging up on a poor old woman!” “Do you think it’s been easy for me, helping out relatives all these years? Everyone calls me a good person. Was I wrong?” “Who do you think I’m doing it for? It’s to build up good karma for Anna!” “Good karma?” I couldn’t take it anymore. I told Mark to go to the study and get the old notebook. It was a record of all the injustices I’d endured since I was a child. I had him open it and read the entries aloud to my mother. “Sophomore year of college. You took the eight hundred dollars I earned from my part-time job and work-study scholarship to buy my cousin a new gaming console. You said it was a ‘loan.’ It was never paid back.” “First year of my career. That gourmet gift basket my company sent, you gave it to Aunt Brenda before I even had a chance to open it. I never saw a single shrimp.” “The small condo my parents gave me as a wedding gift. You forced me to let Aunt Brenda’s family use it as my cousin’s marital home. You said it was temporary. They’ve been living there for three years, rent-free. I’m still the one paying the utility bills!” Mark’s face grew darker with every word he read. “Mom, your precious reputation was built by carving pieces out of me.” “I am your daughter, not your personal blood bank!” Exposed, my mother couldn’t stand the humiliation. She shot up from her seat, snatched the notebook from Mark, and threw it on the floor. “I raised you! What’s wrong with using your things? You’re just like your good-for-nothing father, completely heartless!” With that, she stormed into the guest room, slamming the door so hard the walls shook. Mark wrapped his arms around me, his touch gentle as he stroked my back. “Don’t be angry. It’s bad for you. I’m here now. I won’t let them drain you dry ever again.” His embrace was warm, but it couldn’t dispel the deep chill that had settled in my heart. Late that night, my phone buzzed. It was a voice message from Aunt Brenda. All traces of the day’s conflict were gone, replaced by a tone of entitled greed. “Anna, dear, I’ll drop the subject of the nurse. But my daughter-in-law is so weak after the delivery, you know. I heard you have some kind of imported therapy machine? Could we borrow it for a bit?” “Your leg is what it is, anyway. A couple of days without it won’t make a difference.” This family was a swarm of leeches. Once they latched on, they never let go.

3. The next morning, as soon as Mark left for work, Aunt Brenda showed up with my cousin, Kevin, in tow. They were smarter this time, bringing a basket of bruised, mealy-looking apples as a peace offering. “Oh, Anna, I was just so worried yesterday. I spoke too harshly. Please don’t take it to heart.” Aunt Brenda set the apples on the table, her eyes already scanning the room. Finally, her gaze landed on the physical therapy machine humming quietly beside my leg. Mark had a friend ship it over from Germany. It was worth over eight thousand dollars and was specifically designed to prevent muscle atrophy after surgery like mine. My doctor had been adamant: I needed to use it for at least four hours every single day. “So this is that therapy machine, huh? Looks pretty high-tech.” Aunt Brenda walked over and reached for the plug. “Perfect. My husband’s back has been acting up, and my daughter-in-law is sore all over. We’ll just take it back and let the whole family have a go.” I slammed my hand down on the machine. “No.” “This is medical equipment, not a flashlight. You could hurt someone by misusing it. Besides, I’m in the middle of my rehab. I can’t stop.” Aunt Brenda’s face fell instantly. “Anna, why are you so selfish? It’s not going to break if we just borrow it!” Kevin, who had been silent until now, suddenly lunged forward and shoved my hand away. “Mom, why are you wasting your breath on her? Aunt Sharon already said we could take it!” With that, he started to lift the machine. Panicked, I ignored the cast on my leg and struggled to stop him. “That’s mine! I’m not lending it to you! This is robbery!” Just then, my mother came out of the kitchen, a spatula still in her hand. She didn’t even look at me, her words aimed directly at my head. “Anna! Let go!” “It’s just a stupid machine! What’s the big deal if your cousin uses it for a couple of days?” “His wife could end up with lifelong health problems from childbirth. A couple of days without it won’t kill you!” I stared at my mother in disbelief. “Mom, this is my lifeline! The doctor said even one missed day could lead to muscle atrophy!” “Stop listening to doctors trying to scare you! You’re just being dramatic!” my mother snapped, walking towards me. To help Kevin get the machine, she reached out and shoved me. Hard. “Let go! Why are you being so difficult!” I was sitting in a wheelchair. Her push landed squarely on my shoulder, causing the chair to tip over. My entire body slammed onto the hard marble floor. The leg that had just been surgically repaired, the bones carefully set, struck the ground with brutal force. CRACK! An excruciating pain, sharp as an electric current, shot through my entire body. A piercing scream tore from my throat as cold sweat instantly drenched my clothes. Aunt Brenda and Kevin froze, nearly dropping the machine. But they didn’t stop. They seized the opportunity, hoisting the therapy unit and bolting for the door. “She fell on her own! It has nothing to do with us!” Kevin shouted as he ran. Aunt Brenda was even faster. “That’s right, Sharon, you saw it! We didn’t touch her!” They vanished out the door, clutching the machine that was supposed to save my leg. And my own mother just stood there. She looked down at me on the floor, a flicker of panic in her eyes, but it was quickly replaced by annoyance. “What are you screaming for? You’re fine.” “You just had to fight with your own family. You fell? You deserved it!”

4. The blinding pain made my vision swim in and out of focus. I felt a warm, sticky liquid seeping from my cast, quickly staining my pajama pants red. The bone had shifted, probably tearing a blood vessel. In her bassinet, my daughter, startled by my scream, began to wail. With a monumental effort, I lifted my head and looked at my mother. “Mom… help me…” “There’s so much blood… take me to the hospital…” When she saw the blood pooling on the floor, her expression finally changed. She took an instinctive step towards me, as if to help me up. Just then, Aunt Brenda’s anxious voice called from outside. “Sharon! Get down here and give us a hand! This thing is too heavy to fit in the trunk!” My mother’s movement halted. She looked at me, drenched in a cold sweat and on the verge of passing out. Then she looked towards the door. Aunt Brenda called again, more impatiently this time. “Sharon! Hurry up! Don’t let that brat Anna change her mind and come after us!” My mother hesitated for a single, eternal second. Then she turned back to me, pointed a finger, and spat, “Stop faking it! A little blood won’t kill you!” “I’m going to help your aunt get this thing downstairs. I’ll deal with you when I get back.” With that, she turned and walked out. I watched in despair as the door clicked shut. This was my mother. At the moment my life hung in the balance, she chose to help the robbers carry away their loot. My consciousness began to fade, consumed by the agony. But I couldn’t die. My daughter was still crying. I bit my lip until I tasted blood, using my elbows to drag my body across the floor, inch by painful inch, towards the coffee table. A thick, horrifying trail of red marked my path. Finally, my fingers brushed against my phone. I managed to unlock it, my bloody fingertips smudging the screen before the sensor finally registered. I dialed Mark’s number. “Hello? Honey?” The moment he answered, I used my very last breath to force out a single word: “Help…” The phone slipped from my grasp. Darkness swallowed me whole. I don’t know how much time passed. I heard the sound of the front door being forced open with a violent crash. “ANNA!!!” It was Mark’s voice, a raw, gut-wrenching roar. It was followed by frantic footsteps and the panicked shouts of the building’s security guard. And then, another sound from the doorway. Someone humming a cheerful little tune. It was my mother. She had finished her task and was returning at her leisure. “What’s all the racket? You’re going to break the door!” “She just took a little fall. Is all this drama really necessary…” Her voice died in her throat as she took in the scene: the room full of people and the dark, spreading pool of blood on the floor. Mark, cradling my blood-soaked body, lifted his head. His eyes were blazing red as he stared at her with pure, unadulterated hatred. I wasn’t “faking it.” I was, in fact, dying.