My Ashes for the Dusk

After my adoptive sister died, my brother became the person who hated me most in the world. A hatred so venomous he sent me to a Las Vegas casino, to be auctioned off for men’s amusement. I begged him for mercy, but his eyes held nothing but contempt. “If it weren’t for the kidney transplant you needed, Zoe would never have died on that operating table! You killed her. Now you’ll spend your life atoning for it.” But when the casino was attacked by terrorists, he shielded me without hesitation, his body taking every bullet meant for me. He coughed blood next to my ear, his last words a ragged whisper. “If there’s a next life, I’d rather never have had you as a sister. Zoe was all I ever needed.” I took my own life then, and woke up five years in the past. This time, brother, I don’t want the kidney. And I don’t want your love. I only want to grant your wish. To let you have only one sister. … “Aria, for a single piece of candy, you held Zoe’s hand in boiling water? She saved your life! How could I have such a vile, ungrateful sister?” The familiar voice echoed in my ears. I slowly opened my eyes, stunned by the scene before me. This was five years ago. The day I burned Zoe’s hand. I was truly reborn. The brother standing before me had no blood on his lips, no bullet holes in his chest. He was whole. He was healthy. A lump formed in my throat. I fought back a tidal wave of emotion and spoke, my voice hoarse. “I’m sorry, Caden. I shouldn’t have burned Zoe’s hand.” Caden froze, taken aback. I looked at him and gave a bitter smile. The candy… it was the one he’d pressed into my palm on the day our parents died in a car crash, his own eyes red-rimmed as he tried to comfort me. “Don’t cry, Aria. Big brother’s here. I’ll take care of you from now on.” He was just a teenager then, the weight of the world suddenly crashing down on his shoulders, with a younger sister to raise. It was only natural that he’d forgotten. I shouldn’t have held onto it so tightly. Swallowing the sob caught in my throat, I turned to Zoe, who was lying in the hospital bed, and gave her a deep bow. “I’m sorry. I won’t fight with you over Caden anymore.” Zoe stared, her eyes slowly welling with tears as she prepared for another performance. “Aria, I didn’t mean to step on your candy, please don’t be—” I said nothing. I simply turned, picked up the kettle of freshly boiled water from the bedside table, and without a flicker of hesitation, poured it over my own right arm. A searing agony exploded across my skin. Cold sweat drenched my back in an instant, and my breath hitched with the sheer force of the pain. “Is this… enough?” They were both completely stunned by my sudden, drastic change in behavior. Caden was the first to react, grabbing my wrist and roaring, “Aria, are you insane?!” Before I could answer, he spun towards his assistant standing by the door. “What are you waiting for? Get a doctor!” A sliver of warmth pierced through the pain in my heart. I looked at him, a sense of bittersweet relief washing over me. At this point in time, he still cared. He could still feel something for me. His eyes weren’t just filled with the cold, dead hatred of the future. It was nice. Even if that love would ultimately belong to someone else, I cherished the warmth of his hand on my wrist. But before I could speak, Zoe’s tearful voice cut through the moment. She tugged on Caden’s sleeve. “Caden, I know Aria just wants all your attention, but she shouldn’t have to resort to self-harm to get it.” Then she turned her tear-streaked face to me. “Aria, you and Caden are the real siblings here. I’m the outsider. Please, don’t hurt yourself like this, okay?” Her words were a bucket of ice water. Caden’s expression hardened, the flicker of concern vanishing. I closed my mouth, abandoning the explanation I was about to give. A moment later, his voice came, cold and sharp. “And here I was, actually entertaining a sliver of hope for you. How foolish. With a nature this rotten, are you even my sister?” The words were cruel, but compared to what he would say to me in the future, they were nothing. I lowered my head obediently. “Whatever you say, Caden.” “You…!” He was speechless with fury, pointing a trembling finger at me before turning to his assistant. “Get her wound treated. And keep her out of Zoe’s sight. She’s an eyesore.” I nodded and quietly left the room. But I didn’t go to get my arm bandaged. From the moment I woke up in this timeline, a familiar, sharp pain had begun to spread from my kidneys, radiating through every nerve ending in my body. The agony was so intense I could barely stand. That’s right. In my past life, this was the day I was diagnosed with kidney failure. Without a transplant, I had less than two weeks to live. I had always been sickly, and my rare blood type meant every illness was a brush with death. During one surgery, I started hemorrhaging, and the hospital’s blood bank ran low. Caden, frantic, had searched the entire city and finally found an orphan with a matching blood type: Zoe. Her blood saved my life. And just like that, she went from a penniless orphan to the adopted daughter of the city’s wealthiest family. But after that day, Caden changed. The constant warmth and affection he’d shown me vanished. If Zoe and I were both hurt, he wouldn’t even glance my way. He would leave me on the ground and scoop up Zoe—even if her injuries were minor—and rush her to the hospital. I became crazed, jealous, hateful. I targeted Zoe relentlessly. A sweet, innocent victim versus a vicious, unstable sister. It was obvious who he would choose. But even through all my tantrums and schemes, a part of me believed that deep down, Caden loved me most. I told myself he was only nice to Zoe because she had saved my life. I was wrong. So terribly, tragically wrong. In my last life, after my diagnosis, Zoe died on the operating table during the kidney transplant. I survived, a miracle. But from that day forward, I became the object of Caden’s deepest loathing. He hurled the most vicious words imaginable at me, as if we weren’t siblings, but mortal enemies with a blood feud between us. This time, I don’t want it to end like that. I would rather be the one to die. The northern winters were brutal. The wind carried shards of ice that felt like razor blades against my face. The dull ache in my kidneys and the sharp sting in my arm intertwined, making every breath a luxury. I hunched over, wrapping my coat tighter as I walked aimlessly down the street. I had been greedy, just for a moment. I was reborn to grant Caden’s wish, to let him have only Zoe as his sister. I needed to disappear. A car horn blared beside me. The window rolled down, revealing Caden’s cold, handsome face. “Get in.” I started to refuse, but his bodyguards were already there, pushing me into the back seat. The heat inside the car was blasting, but a chill still clung to my bones. To avoid any questions, I pressed myself against the window, watching the city blur past. “Why didn’t you get your arm treated? What new game are you playing now?” His voice was like ice. “When the self-pity act failed, you decided to try running away?” I was silent for a moment, then turned to face him, my expression calm. “I’m serious, Caden. You don’t have to feel torn because of me anymore. I’m going to move out. I’ll stay far away from both of you.” He let out a short, derisive laugh. “Move out? Aria, what do you have that this family didn’t give you? Without us, you’re useless. How long do you think you’d last?” Not long at all, I thought. I lowered my eyes. “However long I last, that’s my business. I was immature before. I thought if I fought and screamed, I could make you look at me. I understand now. Some things just aren’t mine for the taking. Zoe saved my life. You should care for her. I… I shouldn’t stand in the way.” His sharp gaze scanned my face, searching for a crack in my composure, a hint of deceit. But all he found was a field of cold ashes. The fire of jealousy and resentment that had once burned so fiercely for him, along with all the love and dependence, seemed to have been extinguished completely. This unfamiliar serenity seemed to agitate him even more. “You think saying that will make me feel sorry for you? Make me think you’ve matured? I’ve had enough of your games, Aria!” “I’m not playing games, Caden,” I said, my voice soft with a weariness that went bone-deep. “I’m just… tired. I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want…” I don’t want to face our parents in the afterlife with your hatred weighing me down. The car passed through the grand gates of our family estate. I got out and went straight to my room in a far corner of the mansion. It was large and luxurious, but it felt cold and lifeless, like a gilded cage. I started packing, taking only a few changes of clothes, some cash, and an old photo album our parents had left behind—one Caden had likely long forgotten. Just as I zipped up the old backpack, the door swung open. Zoe stood there, leaning against the frame. Her left wrist was wrapped in a fresh bandage, her face pale, but her eyes held the subtle, triumphant gleam of a victor. “Are you really leaving, Aria?” she asked, her voice syrupy sweet. “Is it because of what Caden said? Don’t blame him. He’s just worried about me. Even though you’re his real sister, he trusts me more, you know.” I watched her performance, my heart a placid lake. In my past life, her words would have been a dagger to my soul, provoking me into a fight that Caden would inevitably punish me for. But now, I just wanted to be gone. “Move,” I said. Zoe took a step forward, blocking my path. Her voice dropped to a whisper only I could hear. “Face it, Aria. In this house, Caden only has room in his heart for me. You’re a joke. The sooner you get lost, the better for everyone.” I ignored her taunt and tried to sidle past. Suddenly, Zoe let out a sharp cry. From somewhere, she produced a small fruit knife. In a flash, she dragged the blade across her own left forearm, a deep, deliberate cut. Beads of blood welled up instantly. “Aria! What are you doing?!” she shrieked, stumbling backward, her face a mask of terror and disbelief. “I already apologized to you! Why are you still trying to hurt me?” Rapid footsteps echoed in the hall, and Caden appeared in the doorway, his face a thundercloud. He saw the blood on Zoe’s arm. He saw me standing before her with my backpack. He saw the fruit knife on the floor between us. The air froze. He didn’t even ask. A storm of rage erupted in his eyes, and he raised his hand, striking me across the face with brutal force. The world went silent. The burn on my arm, the ache in my kidneys—it all vanished. There was only the fire on my cheek. It was the first time in two lifetimes he had ever laid a hand on me. It hurt more than all my other injuries combined. Even at his most hateful in our past life, he had never hit me. He really did love his new sister. The thought was strangely liberating. “A-ri-a!” Caden himself seemed stunned, his hand trembling as he forced my name through his clenched teeth. “For a single, insane moment back there, I actually thought you might have changed! How stupid I am! A dog always returns to its vomit! How black is your heart? What has Zoe ever done to you that you have to hurt her like this, again and again? She is the reason you’re alive!” The familiar accusations, the soul-crushing words, were like poisoned icicles piercing the softest parts of my heart. I had braced myself, told myself to be numb, but hearing that venom in his voice still sent a sharp, twisting pain through my chest. My vision swam. I looked at his handsome face, contorted with rage. I looked at Zoe, hiding behind him, weeping, shooting me a triumphant glance. The whole scene felt absurd. Pathetic. An explanation? He wouldn’t believe it. In his mind, I was already a monster. So be it. I took a deep breath, swallowing the taste of blood and the burn of unshed tears. I wrenched my arm from his grip. Then, I bent down and picked up the small knife from the floor, still slick with Zoe’s blood. Caden’s eyes narrowed. “What do you think you’re doing now?” I pushed the handle of the knife into his hand, forcing his fingers to close around it. The cold metal pressed against his palm, reflecting my own deathly pale face. I took a step forward, my chest almost touching his. I tilted my head back to look into his furious eyes. My voice was a faint, trembling whisper, like a dry leaf about to be carried away by the wind. “Brother, if you hate me this much… if you think I hurt your precious Zoe… then why don’t you get justice for her yourself?” And before the shock in his eyes could register, I threw my entire body forward.