The Last Second Before I Loved You

My childhood best friend gave up his offer from a top university abroad for a scholarship student he liked.

Half an hour before the submission deadline, his Instagram updated.

In the soft glow of candlelight, he was gently placing a birthday crown on her head.

The caption read:

“Some choices are more important than your future.”

My best friend, Chloe, called me:

“Lily, are you still going to help him submit his university application? You have three minutes left.”

I closed the page and watched the countdown.

“No, I’m not. This is it. I’m only paying for my own future.”

At exactly 6 PM, the Stanford application system automatically closed.

Chloe sighed with relief on the other end of the phone:

“You finally came to your senses! Now I can come visit you in California during spring break next year!”

Just as she was speaking, the familiar chime of the smart lock echoed from the door.

Noah walked in with Sarah, as if they owned the place.

“Lily, you submitted your grad school application, right?”

“I told Sarah that staying here for grad school is the most practical path for her, given her situation. But she was still worried, so she insisted I come confirm with you.”

“See? She’s even more concerned about your plans than I am.”

He said, ruffling the hair of the girl beside him with a helpless smile.

After deciding not to stay here with Noah,

many of my emotions actually calmed down.

I no longer felt a lump form in my throat when I saw Sarah hold his arm.

I nodded:

“Yes, it’s all submitted. Do you guys need something?”

Noah frowned, looking at my flat expression.

“Lily, what’s been going on with you lately?”

Sarah subtly tugged at his sleeve and spoke softly:

“Lily, you know my family’s situation…”

“Going abroad is just too expensive. Even with a full scholarship, I can’t afford the living expenses or plane tickets.”

“My grades are just average, so it’s better for me to stay here and work on projects with a professor. I might even get a small stipend.”

“It’s all because of me that Noah gave up going abroad.”

“Don’t be mad at him. He’s been helping me contact professors all afternoon, so he didn’t have time to tell you in person…”

Listening to her timid, almost fragile explanation, I asked directly:

“Didn’t you know about these difficulties at the beginning of the application process?”

“Why did you wait until now to say something?”

Sarah seemed startled, and her eyes instantly welled up.

“I… I discussed it with Noah a long time ago. It’s just that we only finalized the decision today…”

Discussed it a long time ago?

I lowered my gaze.

So while I was pulling all-nighters with him, planning our future and acing practice tests, dreaming of watching sunsets on the West Coast together, he was already mapping out a different future with Sarah.

Seeing my silence, Sarah’s voice grew softer, tinged with a sob.

Noah placed a hand on her shoulder, his tone turning cold:

“Enough, Lily.”

“When I made the final decision, didn’t I send you a message?”

“There’s no need to be so aggressive.”

His words hit me like a bucket of ice water, snapping me back to reality.

I looked at his familiar yet suddenly strange face, then shifted my gaze away:

“I’m not angry. I just wanted to know why.”

Now I understood, and finally, I could let go.

Noah and I grew up together.

After my father passed away, my mother was often abroad, managing the international branch of her company.

She came home less than twice a year.

Most of the time, it was just me and my grandmother at home.

Some relatives always gossiped, subtly criticizing my mom for being a “career woman” who was “never home,” or hinting that our family was “missing a strong male presence.”

I didn’t want my grandmother to be sad, so I’d often hide under the tree in the backyard and cry.

That’s when Noah would crouch down in front of me.

He’d stand up for me against those relatives, and later, he’d bring me a slice of cake every day after school.

From then on, I became his shadow.

We went to school together, studied for exams together, and in countless late nights, we cheered each other on for our dreams.

We promised to go to America together, apply to the best schools, take a road trip on Route 66, and watch the sunrise at the Grand Canyon.

Once we got there, we’d officially start dating.

Until last year, when Sarah appeared.

She was a scholarship student from a disadvantaged background, sponsored by Noah’s mother.

Because her old high school was struggling, she’d received a special transfer to our high school and was temporarily staying with Noah’s family.