In My Next Life, It’s My Turn to Love You

To save my husband and my mother, I tackled a bomber off a bridge. The blast took both my legs. I went from a rising star attorney to… nothing. A woman with no legs. A deep, suffocating depression swallowed me whole. In a fit of rage, I smashed everything in our home. My mother just held me, her tears soaking my hair. “Let it out, sweetie. Just cry. Mom’s here. I’ll take care of you forever.” When I grabbed a knife to end it all, Caleb’s hands shot out, his fingers closing around the blade until they bled. His eyes were wild. “If you die, I die with you,” he choked out. “We go together.” After that, I tried. I fought to cage the darkness inside me, for their sake. I didn’t want to be their burden. Until my mother’s birthday. All I said was that my legs were hurting. Suddenly, she swept the birthday cake to the floor. “I almost wish you’d died in that explosion!” she screamed, her face twisted in anguish. “At least then this daily torture would be over!” Before I could process her words, Caleb grabbed me by the throat and started dragging me toward the balcony. “You want to die so bad? Then do it! Be brave for once and jump!” I didn’t cry. I just waited for the push that would send me falling. But another woman lunged forward, throwing her arms around Caleb. “Mia, your life is already over,” she pleaded, “but do you have to drag Mom and Caleb down with you?” I knew her. Sophia. Caleb’s mentee from the firm. The woman he had introduced to the world on camera as his “soulmate.” She was gentle, kind. Full of life and laughter. She could be the daughter and the wife I no longer could. And I… I needed to disappear from their world for good. … The pressure on my throat was immense; I could feel the world starting to go dark. I let my body go limp, helping Caleb angle me over the railing. I even managed a faint smile to soothe him. “It’s okay.” His eyes, bloodshot and frantic, suddenly widened. He let go of me, stumbling back, and started slapping himself across the face, hard. “I’m sorry, Mia, I’m so sorry… I’m a monster, I’m not human…” He and my mother worked in a practiced tandem, pulling me back inside. One started cleaning the mess on the floor; the other tended to me. Sophia, her heart aching for Caleb, took the mop from his hands. As she did, my mother slipped on a wet patch. Both Caleb and Sophia reached out to steady her. Sophia shot me a glare. “We can’t even stay in this house anymore. Let’s go out. We’re going to give Mom a proper birthday dinner.” I tried to crawl toward my mother, to offer some comfort, but Caleb’s voice cut through the air like a whip. “Stay back!” I froze, my body flat against the cold floor. I watched as Sophia helped my mother into a new coat she’d bought for her, then turned to wrap a scarf around Caleb’s neck. With her, their smiles were real. My mother didn’t have to hide her pain, and Caleb didn’t have to mask his exhaustion. She was right. I was the poison in their lives. If I died, they could finally be a real family. My eyes scanned the room. My mother’s sleeping pills were on the dining table. Caleb’s utility knife was on the nightstand. I used to hoard my mother’s pills, planning my escape. I’d used that same knife to slice open my arms, my neck. After they found out, they locked everything away. I couldn’t remember when they started leaving them out again, in plain sight. It dawned on me then. My mother and Caleb… they’d been waiting for me to die for a long time. The prosthetics I wore were chafing my skin raw, blood seeping through the fabric of my pants. They were a gift from Caleb. They’d been the wrong size from the start. I never said anything. Neither did he. My mother never mentioned it either, not even as she forced them on, the metal clasps biting deep into my flesh to hold them in place. They wanted me to stand again. And I wanted to, for them. Even if it felt like walking on knives, I would have done it. Maybe it was the gentle look on my mother’s face as she made her birthday wish that made me want to feel close to her again, just for a moment. All I did was whisper that my legs hurt. But it was the final straw. It broke them. Sophia was right. I couldn’t keep torturing them. I pulled myself into my wheelchair and left the apartment. I didn’t touch the pills or the knife. I wouldn’t die in their home. My mother was terrified of blood, and the sight of it would give her nightmares. Caleb was a judge with a brilliant future; a wife’s suicide at home would stain his career. I wheeled myself to the bridge over the Inner Harbor and pushed myself over the edge. The water was freezing, filthy. But I didn’t struggle. I just hoped the current would carry me far away, to a place where my mother and Caleb would never have to see me again. My soul detached from my body, a weightless thing, and drifted back to them. They were in a private dining room, posing for a family portrait. Afraid of ruining the happy scene, I shrank into a corner, even knowing they couldn’t see me. I waited until the camera flashed before floating closer. A waiter brought in a new cake, complimenting them on having such a devoted son and daughter. My mother beamed, wrapping an arm around Sophia. “She’s the only daughter I have,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. She took Sophia’s hand and placed it in Caleb’s, holding them together. “And this is my son-in-law.” As she leaned over the candles to make a wish, my mother repeated it, her voice a low prayer. “I wish for Sophia to be my daughter, and for Caleb to always be my perfect son-in-law.” A tear escaped and traced a path down her cheek. She mouthed two words, silently. I’m sorry, Mia. I didn’t feel sadness. Only relief. Your wish came true, Mom. Three years ago, a case Caleb presided over had made him a target for a powerful criminal syndicate. They came for us during a family trip. In the final moments, as the bomber counted down, I pushed them away and threw myself, and him, off the bridge. The blast took my legs. My mother had never forgiven herself. “If I hadn’t insisted on that trip, if I hadn’t made you two come with me, you never would have been hurt!” She had that same look on her face now. My ghostly hand reached out, wanting to wipe her tears away. Don’t cry, Mom. If I had to choose a thousand times, I’d still choose to save you. I don’t regret it. My mother slid the family heirloom, a delicate sapphire bracelet, onto Sophia’s wrist, then gave Caleb a meaningful look. “Some friends are waiting for me. I’ll leave you two to talk.” The door to the private room clicked shut. Sophia leaned in close to Caleb, her touch intimate as she wiped a smudge of tea from the corner of his mouth. He slumped forward, resting his forehead wearily on her shoulder. After my… accident, he had refused all promotions. His life became a grueling cycle: investigating cases by day, studying nursing care at night, and taking me to physical therapy during his lunch breaks. All while dealing with my episodes of self-harm. I hovered above him, seeing how half his hair had turned a stark silver. A bitter ache filled my non-existent chest. I wanted to stroke his hair, to smooth away the lines of exhaustion. Sophia’s hand got there first. “You’ve spent all this time trying to save her, Caleb,” she murmured. “But who is going to save you? It breaks my heart to see you waste away like this.” She tilted her head. “Let me take care of you. Please?” Caleb was silent. After a long moment, he raised a hand and cupped her face, his voice trembling. “Okay.” Sophia melted into his arms. “Caleb,” she whispered against his chest, “stay with me tonight.” His arms, which had started to lift by instinct, hovered in the air for a second before wrapping tightly around her. He pulled out his phone and sent me a text. Working late. Ordered you some takeout. Make sure you eat. Tears I could no longer shed streamed down my face. Don’t worry about me anymore, Caleb. I knew that without Sophia’s love and support these past three years, he would have completely shattered. I was grateful to her. Because of her, my mother had a new daughter, and my husband had a new wife. My mother returned home late, humming a cheerful tune. She noticed the takeout bag by the door. “Mia, dinner’s here!” My bedroom door was closed. Silence. Her face instantly hardened. “What is it now? Are you throwing another tantrum? I swear, you’re driving me insane!” She dropped the bag in front of my door with a thud and slammed the door to her own room. It was better this way. It was her birthday. She shouldn’t be upset because of me. I drifted through the wall and hovered beside her. She was scrolling through Sophia’s social media. A video showed Sophia in a kitchen, stirring a pot of soup. Caleb came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. His voice was a low, intimate murmur. “Thank you,” he said, “for making me feel alive again.” My mother liked the post and left a comment: “My beautiful children, live your lives well. I’ll officiate your wedding.” My eyes were fixed on the new diamond band on Caleb’s ring finger. I flew back to my own room, searching frantically. I found it in a corner, covered in dust. My old wedding band. Inside, the name he had engraved himself was worn almost smooth. I wasn’t heartbroken. He was getting his life back. He wasn’t being dragged down into hell with me. This was a good thing. Caleb didn’t come home until after midnight. He was humming, a faint lipstick smudge visible on his collar. He tripped over the cold takeout bag, and his good mood vanished. “Mia! If you don’t want to eat, then starve!” He stormed into his study. He’d just fallen asleep when his phone buzzed. It was Sophia. Caleb was sleeping too deeply to hear it. I circled frantically, hoping nothing was wrong. Finally, he stirred and answered. A terrified scream came through the speaker. “It’s all my fault! I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with you!” “Caleb, please, just make your wife leave me alone! Please!” She sent a video. The sapphire bracelet my mother had given her was shattered on the floor. “She saw it on my social media feed! She sent people to my apartment to take it back, and they broke it!” The camera spun, revealing Sophia’s face, red and swollen with handprints. “She had them beat me… and… and she used these to threaten me!” Behind her, on the floor, was a pair of bloody, severed prosthetics. And scrawled on the white wall in what looked like blood were two words: HOMERWRECKER. DIE. I froze, for a moment forgetting I was a ghost. Caleb, you know me! I don’t even know where she lives! How could he possibly believe this? But then he was on his feet, rushing out of the study and kicking my bedroom door with furious force. “Mia, can you act like a human being for once? Torturing me and Mom wasn’t enough? Now you’re hiring thugs to terrorize Sophia?” “I must have been cursed the day I married you, you monster! Why don’t you just DIE?” I was completely still. A ghost isn’t supposed to have a heart. But I felt as if someone had just ripped mine out of my chest, leaving a gaping, frozen void. Colder than the winter river. I tried to console myself. This is a good thing, Mia. He has to hate you to truly let you go. I followed Caleb as he sped to Sophia’s apartment and watched them cling to each other. Caleb’s eyes were cold as ice. “I’m calling the police. A few nights in a holding cell will teach Mia a lesson.” Sophia, looking guilty, tried to defend me. “No, Caleb, don’t blame her. It’s my fault. I couldn’t control my heart.” “Just stay with me. Please don’t leave.” Caleb didn’t call the police. He took Sophia to a hotel. And there, he gave in to temptation, falling into bed with her. I found I couldn’t leave. I was trapped, forced to bear witness. All I could do was turn away. Sophia’s voice was a seductive moan. “Caleb… you have to take responsibility for me now.” His ragged breaths filled the room. “Thank you,” he gasped. “Thank you for freeing me from that monster.” “I’m filing for divorce tomorrow.” Caleb didn’t wake until noon the next day. He surveyed the messy hotel room, a flicker of regret in his eyes. He went to the balcony and smoked an entire pack of cigarettes, his gaze eventually falling on the fading red marks on Sophia’s face. His expression hardened. “This was my mistake. She shouldn’t have hurt you.” He turned to make a call, not seeing Sophia’s eyes flutter open behind him. “Miller? I need to report my wife. Assault, trespassing, intimidation. Can you bring her in, hold her for a few days…?” The voice on the other end was loud and chaotic. Shouting in the background. “Careful, it’s a floater! Heavily bloated… Caleb, look, we’re swamped right now!” “We pulled a Jane Doe from the Inner Harbor. Mangled by a boat propeller… we can’t even piece her together…” “The whole precinct is on overtime trying to get an ID. I’ll handle your thing when we’re clear.” My non-existent heart clenched. Caleb was sharp. Terrifyingly so. I was afraid he’d go to the scene, that he’d realize I had killed myself. And that my body was… ugly. Just then, Sophia let out a pained cry from the bed. “Aah—” Caleb’s head snapped toward her. She was whimpering in her sleep, tears on her cheeks. “Please don’t hit me… please, I’m begging you…” Caleb’s knuckles turned white. “Miller, just get someone over to my house as soon as you can. I’m afraid Mia might hurt someone else.” After a moment’s silence, the captain agreed. Still furious, Caleb called my mother. “Mom, Mia went after Sophia again…” My mother, sedated by her sleeping pills, had slept through Caleb’s rampage the night before. She was in the kitchen, making porridge for me, when the call came. She listened for a moment, then her face went cold. She turned off the stove. After hanging up, she poured the freshly made porridge down the drain. Then she picked up the cold takeout bag from my doorway and threw it in the trash too. “Maybe starving for a day or two will teach you a lesson. How did you become so vicious?” She sent a voice message to Sophia. “Sophia, honey, you’ve been through so much. Mom is on her way to take care of you.” She packed up all the expensive supplements and tonics in our house and left. As she stepped out of the building, she noticed a crowd gathered by the riverbank. She paused. I panicked, rushing to block her path. Don’t go, Mom! They just pulled my body out! You’ll see the birthmark… it will kill you! But she didn’t move. She was listening to a reporter giving a live update nearby. “Someone fell in,” she murmured, her expression unreadable. Then she whispered, “I wish it had been Mia.” I felt as though a hand was squeezing my throat, suffocating me. After a long moment, a bitter smile touched my lips. It was me, Mom. Your wish came true. My mother and Caleb met at Sophia’s apartment. They cleaned her place, and my mother cooked a meal. At the dinner table, she placed her bank card in front of Caleb. “This is my decision. You need to divorce Mia.” “This is for you and Sophia. A wedding gift.” Sophia snatched the card, her face alight with glee. “Thank you, Mom! Caleb and I will take good care of you after we’re married!” Caleb was silent for a long time before pushing the card back to my mother. “It doesn’t matter who I marry. You’ll always be my mother. I’ll take care of you.” “As for Mia… I’ll have her moved to a long-term care facility…” My mother didn’t see the venom in Sophia’s eyes. She took the card back, shaking her head as tears began to fall. “Caleb, Mia and I have been too much of a burden on you. I’m thinking of taking her to Switzerland… for euthanasia.” “I’ve heard they have these pods… you just fall asleep…” Her voice was choked with sobs, but her face was filled with an unmistakable look of relief. Caleb bolted from the table and rushed to the bathroom. I followed him, watching as he sagged against the closed door, crying without a sound. Mia, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t strong enough. I couldn’t hold on. He slapped himself twice, hard. I couldn’t touch him, but I cried with him. It’s not your fault. It really isn’t. You did more than enough. For three years, he hadn’t had a single full night of sleep. The medication made me sick, and every night he would be up, cleaning up my vomit. Countless times he was jolted awake by my sobs, only to find me sitting in a pool of my own blood, a razor in my hand. He’d have to fight back his own despair to patch me up and coax me back to sleep. If our roles were reversed, I don’t think I could have done what he did. Caleb, I owe you everything in this life. In the next one, let me be the one to love you. I drifted back to my mother. Sophia was holding her hand, crying as well. “Mom, I’m so sorry… Caleb and I… we slept together.” My mother just smiled and shook her head, about to offer her blessing when Sophia cut her off. “And last night… when Mia sent those men… they beat me so badly… I lost the baby. The doctor said… I can never have children now.” The smile froze on my mother’s face. I screamed, trying to make them hear. She’s lying! She’s framing me! I never did any of that! Tears of blood streamed from my spectral eyes. I knew it was useless. My mother believed her. She left in a rage, calling my phone again and again. No answer. When she got home, she kicked my bedroom door open. The curtains were drawn, blocking out all light. She hurled her phone onto my bed. “Mia, I wish you had died in that explosion with that bomber! It would be better than the shame you’ve brought on me now!” “You made that girl miscarry! That’s murder!” Caleb followed her into the room. He held out a signed divorce agreement. And a pair of handcuffs. “You can have the house, the money. You’ll go to a care facility, and I’ll take care of Mom.” “I’m sorry, Mia. I can’t do this anymore.” He stepped forward with the handcuffs, reaching into the darkness to pull back the covers. “I’m taking you to turn yourself in. We can plead for a lighter sentence.” There was no reply. After a moment, Caleb’s voice was hard. “If you don’t cooperate, I’ll have to call the precinct and have them bring you in by force.” My mother pounded her fist on the bed. “Mia, after you get out, I’m taking you to a psychiatric hospital. You’ve gone completely mad! I don’t even recognize you anymore!” She let out a sob. “If only Sophia were my daughter.” A tearing pain ripped through my core. Mom, don’t believe her! She’s evil, she’ll never be good to you! But I was dead. They couldn’t hear me. Thud. Caleb fell to his knees beside the bed. “Mia, I’m begging you,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “Please. Let my mother and me live.” I already have, Caleb. I already made my choice. If there were even a sliver of light, they would see that the bed was empty. Just then, Caleb’s phone rang. It was Captain Miller. “Caleb, we got an ID on the body from the river. It’s your wife. Coroner puts the time of death at two days ago…”