Chapter 3
I thought about the past.
Nolan was an orphan.
When he was a baby, he was almost frozen to death by a garbage dump.
Luckily, a kind old man collecting trash found him, saving his life.
Unfortunately, the old man passed away when Nolan was in elementary school.
So, Nolan was often bullied in the alley.
It was my mom and I who provided him shelter.
Mom always said he was a poor child, with no parents, and that I should treat him well.
Back then, Nolan was not as mild-mannered as he is now. He was fierce to everyone.
His eyes were like a cub eyeing a hunter.
The first time I approached him, he pushed me down, scraping my elbow.
“Go away, I hate all of you.”
I heard the last person who tried to befriend him spread the word at school that he was an orphan.
So, he despised the word “friend.”
It took me a long time to barely become his friend.
To let him come to my house for meals without hesitation.
To let him walk proudly by my side.
To let the light return to the boy’s eyes.
Rumors spread in the alley, saying that Nolan the orphan liked me.
They also said I, a fatherless child, was well-matched with him, who had no parents.
When Nolan found out, he beat the culprit to a pulp.
I had to stop him. His fists were bloody.
But his eyes were clear when he looked at me.
“They can insult me, but not you.”
That’s how Nolan was, openly good to me.
After the exams in ninth grade, Nolan asked where I was going for high school.
The boy blushed. By then, he was already over six feet tall, towering over me.
I looked up at him but was blinded by the sun.
“Not telling you.”
He panicked, “Are you leaving me?”
He sounded like a wronged wife.
I chuckled.
“Do you like me, Nolan?”
He lowered his head.
His tears were like a mist after spring rain, barely there, tugging at my heart.
“Sorry, I know I’m not worthy of liking you.”
I laughed and took his hand.
It was the first time I held Nolan’s hand. It wasn’t smooth or fair, but solid and warm.
“Nolan, if you like someone, you like them. There’s no ‘worthy’ or ‘unworthy.’”
Nolan wasn’t good at academics. He went to a much worse high school than I did.
But he still worked hard to move to the provincial capital with me.
We promised to go to the same university.
On his eighteenth birthday, I told him, “Nolan, if we go to the same university, I’ll be your girlfriend.”
Nolan’s eyes were full of me.
“Really, Lydia?”
“Really.”
Later, before my college entrance exams, someone stalked me and almost attacked me.
Nolan found out.
He went crazy and beat the guy until he ended up in the hospital. Even though he got timely treatment, he was left disabled.
His family was rich. When he woke up, he vowed to ruin Nolan and me.
Nolan and I were cornered in an alley. Nolan somehow found the strength to hold them off and told me to run.
“Run and don’t look back.”
I ran out and the first thing I did was call the police.
But when I got back with them, Nolan was already lying in a pool of blood.
He almost died.
Nolan discovered the truth.
In a fit of rage, he attacked someone so severely they ended up in the hospital. Although they received timely treatment, they were left with permanent injuries.
The victim’s family was wealthy, and once he regained consciousness, he vowed to destroy both Nolan and me.
Cornered in an alley, I saw a side of Nolan I hadn’t seen before. He found the strength to hold everyone back and urged me to escape.
“Run ahead, don’t look back.”
I ran and immediately called the police.
But by the time I returned with them, Nolan was already lying in a pool of blood.
He narrowly escaped death.
The knife missed his heart by just an inch.
In my sophomore year, my mother fell ill.
I never expected her condition to be so severe. Had I known, I would have skipped school to stay by her side every day.
By the time I realized the gravity of her illness, it was too late.
Mom held onto Nolan’s and my hands tightly.
“Nolan, Lydia loves you dearly, and I know you love her too. I’m at peace knowing you’ll take care of her.”
“Will you promise me, Aunt?”
Nolan nodded through his tears.
Finally, reassured, Mom let go.
After graduation, we planned to marry in a year.
Nolan wanted to start a business but lacked funds, so I sold the house Mom left me and gave him all the money.
When he found out, he embraced me and wept bitterly.
“Lydia, what did I do to deserve someone as wonderful as you?”
“Lydia, once my career takes off, we’ll get married.”
And he kept his word. His business thrived quickly, and just then, his biological parents found him.
Upon learning I couldn’t have children, they refused to let Nolan marry me.
But Nolan firmly told them, “I can live without parents, but I can’t live without Lydia.”
The wedding was grand.
The diamond ring he placed on my finger sparkled like a star in the sky.
I never imagined the Nolan who loved me so deeply would betray me.
I tormented myself by going through the evidence of their affair.
Each piece shattered my heart.
Last Valentine’s Day, Nolan was on a business trip.
I swallowed my disappointment and reassured him over the phone that it was okay.
We could celebrate when he returned.
Turns out, he took that girl to New York’s Disneyland.
Once, Nolan had promised me.
In that small rental apartment.
“When I make money, I’ll take you to amusement parks, we’ll travel abroad, go on a world tour.”
Then he paused.
Gazing at me intently.
“As long as you’re with me, that’s all that matters.”
I threw a pillow at him, laughing, “You’re so cheesy, Nolan.”
But later, he became successful.
And he didn’t take me to any of those places.
He was always busy.
And I understood.
Nolan didn’t want me to work. He wanted me to stay home and be a full-time housewife.
I knew he felt bad about how hard I’d worked in the past and wanted me to focus on my health.
I listened to everything he said.
I also thought his work was really busy, so he didn’t have much time for me.
But he was just giving his time to someone else.
The promises he made to me, he kept for someone else.
For her birthday this year, he took her to Iceland.
For a whole week.
He set off fireworks by the sea for an hour for her.
He arranged 9,999 drones to confess his love to her.
Incredibly romantic.
At that time, I thought he was abroad for a project.
I even worried foolishly if he’d have issues with the local food and water.
Called him repeatedly.
Reminded him of this and that.
How laughable.
He knew my New Year’s wish last year was to travel to Iceland with him.
But he took another woman.
My heart ached.
My vision blurred.
I realized I was already crying.
Soon, my phone rang.
Seeing the caller ID “My Love,” I answered.
“Let’s talk.”
The girl was beautiful.
She had the youthful vitality of an 18-year-old.
Unlike me, who looked like I had aged beyond my 27 years.
Her name was Phoebe, and she was Nolan’s secretary now.
As soon as she saw me, her eyes sparkled with triumph.
Her hand instinctively touched her belly.
“I’m pregnant.”
I smiled, not saying a word.
She continued provocatively, “I know you can’t have kids, so you’re not worthy of him.”
Hearing that, my heart ached.
I couldn’t imagine how Nolan talked about my pain of losing a child with his lover.
What did my sincere heart mean to him?
Did he feel a sense of pleasure every day seeing me revolve around him?