Pout or Suicide? My Brother’s Mad Regret

1 Two days after I ran away from home, my brother, Jake, found me at the entrance of a hospital. He grabbed the front of my shirt, his eyes bloodshot with fury. “You run away just because I slapped you? Are you trying to kill me with worry? Is that it?!” “When are you going to stop this? I’m begging you, Nina. Can’t you just be sensible, like Sophie?” This time, I didn’t try to explain. I didn’t argue. I just followed him home in silence, ready to play the part of the perfect, sensible sister. He hated it when I cried, so I never shed another tear. He called me stingy, so I gave everything I owned to Sophie. Jake thought I was just being sullen, trying to see how long I could keep up the act. But he didn’t know. I wasn’t acting. I’d just stopped hoping. The day I left, I had gone to the hospital. That slap had deafened me in one ear. It also led to an unexpected diagnosis: leukemia. For the days I had left, all I wanted was peace. And I hoped that in my next life, I wouldn’t have a brother. … On New Year’s Eve, Jake celebrated with Sophie. He paid for it with my money. Our grandmother had left me a savings card with ten thousand dollars on it, meant for my wedding someday. A few days ago, Jake had called me selfish. So, I gave all my valuable possessions to Sophie. Including that card. My phone buzzed relentlessly with transaction notifications. First, a five-thousand-dollar charge for fireworks. Then, a lavish dinner. Finally, a nightclub. At the stroke of midnight, the remaining five hundred dollars was withdrawn. Sophie posted a story for all to see: 【Best. Brother. Ever. Don’t be jealous!】 The picture was of her hand, resting suggestively on some handsome guy’s abs. Jake had apparently hired three male dancers for her. Jake was wealthy, the owner of several companies. Spending my last dime and letting Sophie flaunt it like that… it was deliberate. He thought I was still holding a grudge and was testing my limits, waiting for me to break. But my heart was a placid lake, without a single ripple. My stomach was empty, so I went to the kitchen and made myself some noodles. After eating, I took my medication. I was about to throw the empty pill bottle away when the front door swung open. I jumped, and the bottle slipped from my grasp, rolling under the coffee table. Jake was drunk. He saw me standing there, frozen, and sneered. “Still awake? Couldn’t sleep? Too busy thinking about all the money I spent?” Before I could answer, he mumbled to himself, “Three months of this silent treatment. You’ve really got some stamina.” “Nina,” he said, his voice laced with contempt, “let’s see how long you can keep this act up.” He stumbled. I rushed to steady him, but Sophie shoved me aside. “Can’t you see he’s drunk? Stop causing trouble.” Pushed to the side, I watched as she guided Jake into his bedroom. I quietly picked up the jacket he had dropped on the floor, hung it up, and went to the kitchen to get him a glass of hot water. I was about to take it to him when Sophie emerged from his room. She looked at me with pure disgust. “What’s your problem, Nina?” “You already ran away. Why didn’t you just disappear? Why did you let him find you?”

2 I hadn’t meant for him to find me. Three months ago, Sophie had told Jake that I was a good-for-nothing, that I was messing around with some lowlife from the wrong side of the tracks. She’d even Photoshopped a picture of me, a compromising one, and showed it to him. And Jake believed her. No matter how much I pleaded, his face remained a thundercloud. He had only one thing to say to me: “You have no shame, Nina.” I was speechless, my body aching with helpless fury. In that moment, I lost control and slapped Sophie across the face. Jake returned the favor instantly. He was strong. The force of his slap sent me crashing to the floor, my ear ringing with a deafening hum. I clutched my cheek in disbelief, hot tears of betrayal finally breaking free as I bolted out the door. I’d planned to stay in a cheap motel for a few days. But the pain in my ear grew worse, and a deep ache settled into my muscles. A trip to the hospital confirmed a perforated eardrum in my left ear. And terminal leukemia. The doctor’s brow was furrowed with concern. “You’ve lost hearing in this ear permanently. If someone did this to you, you should report it.” “As for the leukemia… I would advise palliative care…” The unspoken words hung in the air: There’s no cure. I left the hospital in a daze. The people rushing past on the sidewalk all seemed to have family with them, someone to lean on. I found a quiet corner, squatted down, and sobbed until I couldn’t breathe. My phone had died, and I never bothered to charge it. Two days later, Jake found me. He was livid. “Why didn’t you come home? Do you have any idea how long I’ve been looking for you?!” “You were the one in the wrong! I only slapped you once! Was that really a reason to run away?” He looked exhausted, his anger mixed with a desperate plea as he grabbed my wrist. “Please, Nina. Just give me a break, will you?” In that moment, I remembered what our grandmother had said just before she died. “Dying with hatred in your heart turns you into a vengeful spirit. You won’t get a good rebirth.” She and Grandpa had been in love their whole lives, but on her deathbed, she learned he had two other children from an affair. If she could let go of a betrayal like that, what couldn’t I? So I went home with Jake and never mentioned what had happened. At first, whenever I remembered I was dying, I would cry in secret. Jake caught me twice. “Crying, always crying,” he’d snap. “I don’t know what you have to cry about. Why can’t you be more cheerful, like Sophie?” I tried to tell him I was sick, but he dismissed it as another lie, another bid for attention. After a while, I stopped trying. He hated my tears, so I stopped crying. He called me stingy, so I gave Sophie everything. When he could no longer find fault with me, he decided I was just putting on an act. It didn’t matter. I had made my peace with it. Every day from now on was just a waiting game. I was looking forward to the next life more than I was to the rest of this one. In the early hours of the morning, I lit some fireworks by myself in the yard. I didn’t want to wake Jake and Sophie, so I used sparklers, the cheap ones that cost a dollar a stick. The tiny sparks fizzled from one end to the other. I made a wish: to live peacefully through the new year. The next day, I slept in a little. When I came downstairs, Jake was sitting on the sofa. Our eyes met, and the fury in his gaze was barely contained. A lump formed in my throat. “What’s wrong?” I asked. He opened his hand. Lying in his palm was the pill bottle I had forgotten to pick up the night before. I thought he knew. My fingers curled into a fist, a tiny, foolish flicker of hope igniting within me. If he knew I had cancer, would he feel sorry for me? Would he finally be a little kinder? But the words that came out of his mouth were cold as ice. “Nina. You’re on drugs.”

3 I froze, and for a second, I thought my other ear had gone deaf too. “What drugs?” His face was grim as he twisted open the cap and emptied the contents onto the coffee table. A small pile of white powder. My eyes widened in horror. “Sophie told me, but I didn’t want to believe it. Not only is your life a mess, but you’re breaking the law now, too!” Jake was seething, a vein throbbing in his temple. “No wonder you’ve been acting so strange these past few months! This is what you’ve been doing!” A chilling cold spread through me. “That’s my leukemia medication,” I explained frantically. “I didn’t put that powder in there! I don’t know anything about it…” “Still lying!” Jake cut me off, his eyes like shards of glass. “Is this your pill bottle or not?” “Yes, but—” “No buts!” His anger finally boiled over. He strode toward me and, with a sharp crack, slapped me across the face again. My left ear exploded with the same deafening ringing as before. He was so enraged, his voice trembled. “What are you trying to do, Nina? Are you trying to drive me to my grave?” “I forgave you for your… personal life. And now this? Do you need to spend a few years in jail to finally straighten up?” Despite everything, tears streamed down my face. I clutched my throbbing ear, my voice a raw whisper. “Sophie must have swapped the pills. We can go to the hospital, they can test me! They’ll see there’s nothing in my system!” “If you go to a hospital, you’re finished!” he snarled, jabbing a finger toward my face, his own eyes welling up with tears of frustration. “I don’t know why I have a sister like you. You’ve disappointed me so much, Nina.” “From now on, you’re not going anywhere. You won’t eat or drink anything until I’ve checked it first!” I was utterly defenseless, a cold sweat breaking out on my back. I grabbed his arm. “Jake, please, I swear I’m not! I can call the police!” I fumbled for my phone. He shoved me away, and the phone clattered to the floor, its screen shattering. He snatched it up. “Call the police? You want everyone to know my sister is a drug addict? You want them to laugh at me?” He turned the phone off and dragged me, struggling, toward the basement. “You’ll stay down here. You can come out when you’re clean.” The heavy door slammed shut in front of me with a deafening boom. Darkness enveloped me. I pounded on the door, my screams tearing from my throat. “Let me out! I didn’t do it!” Through the thick wood, Jake’s voice was muffled and distant. “Stop lying. I know what you are.” “Nina, I’m doing this to save you!”

4 And so, I was imprisoned. The basement was dim and gray, a prison cell meant to hold me. I don’t know how much time passed before Sophie came down with a plate of food. The sight of her made me snap. I lunged at her. “Why are you doing this to me? Haven’t you hurt me enough?!” She caught my wrist with surprising ease, a vicious light in her eyes. “Why did you come back with him? You were gone. You should have stayed gone.” “This family has no place for you anymore, Nina. I wanted to make sure you understood that.” I was shaking with a rage so profound I couldn’t speak. She, however, was perfectly calm. “It was just flour in the bottle, you know. I said a few words, and just like last time, he believed me completely.” “Admit it. In his heart, I’m the one who matters more.” “I’ve been so patient with you! These last three months have been hell for me too, you know! What is it you really want?” I screamed, my voice raw. She grabbed a handful of my hair, a strange, twisted smile on her face. “What do I want? I just want Jake to hate you a little more before you die.” “You have leukemia, don’t you, Nina?” she whispered, her voice a soft caress, like a demon’s murmur in my ear. “It must hurt so much… without your medicine.” A wave of goosebumps washed over my skin. “You’re insane, Sophie. You’re a complete lunatic!” At that, her smile vanished. In one swift, unexpected motion, she kicked me hard, sending me sprawling into a corner. The pain, the fury, the emotions I had suppressed for three long months—it all came rushing out. I scrambled to my feet and threw myself at her. My slaps landed on her face. She didn’t dodge, just took the hits and then started screaming. “Jake! Help! Nina’s having a withdrawal! She’s going crazy!” I didn’t even register her words. All I knew was that if I didn’t let out this boiling rage, I would suffocate. I hit her and kicked her with every ounce of strength I had, each blow harder than the last. Suddenly, the basement door flew open. Jake stood there, his face instantly turning to stone as he took in the scene. Sophie was sobbing. “Jake, her addiction is making her violent! She tried to make me go buy her drugs, and when I refused, she attacked me!” “I did not!” I roared, but I didn’t stop hitting her. She shrieked in pain. In the next second, Jake’s hand clamped around my wrist, pulling me off her. “Nina, stop this madness!” He held me by the shoulders, his eyes a storm of anger and worry. He gritted his teeth, his voice a low growl of disappointment. “I’m trying to help you, Nina! Can’t you just stop making things harder for everyone?” My head was buzzing, a chaotic mess of static. In my emotional breakdown, only one coherent thought remained. “I’m not on drugs!” I screamed. Jake’s lips tightened, his own anger rising to meet mine. “Of course not. Like you’d ever admit it.” “You’re going to stay down here, and you’re going to be good. When you’re better, I’ll let you out.” He produced a length of rope from somewhere and tied me to a chair. Then, he helped Sophie to her feet and walked out without a backward glance. As the door closed, I could still hear his concerned voice. “Sophie, are you okay? Is your face alright? I’ve spoiled Nina rotten, don’t be mad at her.” “Let me get some ointment for you…” I dug my nails into my palms until they broke the skin. I struggled against the ropes, and the chair tipped over, sending me crashing to the floor. The rope was so tight it cut into my flesh. But that pain was nothing compared to the agony in my heart. I thought if I let everything go, Jake might finally be a little kinder to me. But with just a few words from Sophie, he believed the worst. A tear splashed onto the concrete floor. I felt the blood in my veins turn to ice, a creeping numbness and a deep, throbbing ache spreading through my body. I couldn’t even get up. I just lay there on the cold ground, a broken heap. From that day on, I remained a prisoner in the basement. Without my painkillers, the agony grew worse with each passing day. Sophie brought me food sporadically, always with a side of taunts and insults. I would just curl into a ball on the floor, too weak to even respond. My mind began to drift. I couldn’t tell the difference between dreams and reality. Sometimes, it felt like my soul was floating outside my body, watching myself lie there in misery. I knew I didn’t have much time left. One day, I dreamt of my mother. It was the first time I had seen her in a dream since she passed away. She held me like she did when I was a child, stroking my hair gently. I felt like I was finally home, safe in her arms. I cried and told her how Jake had hurt me. My mother’s eyes filled with tears. “That can’t be, my sweet Nina. Your brother has always loved you more than anyone.” I told her everything—how he favored Sophie, how he had hit me. She listened quietly, her expression growing sadder and sadder, before finally cupping my face in her hands. “Nina, my poor child, you’ve suffered so much…” SPLASH! I never heard the rest of what she said. A bucket of ice-cold water shocked me awake. I opened my eyes. My mother wasn’t there. Only Jake, holding the empty bucket, his face a grim mask.