The Hurt I Couldn’t Name

Chapter 1 It took seven days to scrape together the ten-million-dollar ransom.

After my release, I returned home to find William pinning Sophie against the floor-to-ceiling windows in his office, groping and thrusting into her with animalistic fervor. “I got you that necklace you wanted at the auction, sweetheart. It was only 100 million dollars—practically couch change.”

I stood at the door, my face impassive.

So, William had deliberately let the kidnappers hold me captive and torture me longer than necessary.

Every part of my body hurt, from the bone where the screw had been roughly hammered in, the skin on my back that had been whipped open, to the scars that still marred my hands. But none of those mattered.

I was about to quietly back away from William’s office when I heard an icy, “Stop right there.”

William looked away from the deed he was doing long enough to glance in my direction. “A new cafe opened downstairs, and Sophie’s been wanting to try its menu. Since you’re back, go and get her something to drink. Be back in ten minutes.”

He ordered me like it was second nature, and I nodded with the same grace.

It took me nine minutes and 42 seconds to return with 12 different drinks, ashen-faced. Sophie had already put on her clothes, though she left her shirt collar wide open to flaunt the hickies decorating her skin.

My arms, weighed down by the takeout bags, were marked with red, newly scabbed-over gashes.

“You took so long that the drinks went cold,” Sophie grumbled.

After I reheated the drinks, she picked one up and pretended it slipped out of her fingers. She gasped loudly as the hot liquid splashed onto my wounds.

Upon hearing the commotion, William hurried over, scanning my face briefly before checking on Sophie like a fussy mother hen. “Were you scalded?”

She nodded dejectedly, and William poured the rest of the hot drink on my head. “This is your punishment for messing up a simple task, Giselle.”

Droplets of hot coffee trailed down my bangs and into my eyes, blurring my vision. I couldn’t get a good look at William’s furious expression, but two seconds later, I lowered my head in deference. “I’m sorry.”

His expression hardened even more despite my apology.

William was slated to attend a dinner party that night. In the past, I was his only plus-one when it came to such social events, but this time, he brought Sophie along. He must like her a lot.

To conceal my scars, I picked out a long dress with sleeves that reached my wrist for the dinner party. William frowned at my choice of attire. “Why wrap yourself up like a burrito?’

Before I could explain, he added, “Forget it. You’re only tagging along tonight as a foil for Sophie anyway. You won’t have to work the crowd for me like you used to.”

The brightly lit hall was packed to the brim, and a constant stream of guests milled around William to clink glasses with him. Sophie hid behind him like an innocent bunny, muttering, “William, I can’t drink…”

“Don’t sweat it, sweetheart. Someone else will drink for you,” William reassured her softly.

I silently took glass after glass of wine and champagne from William’s collaborators. I used to drink only on William’s behalf, but now, I had to look out for Sophie, too.

A burning sensation filled my stomach, which spasmed as it ached. I’d only just frowned in pain when William, perceptive as ever, caught my discomfort. “I thought you were great at holding your drinks, Giselle. You only had about a dozen glasses or so. Surely you can do better.”

The portly man standing across from William chuckled. “That’s right. Ms. Harlow’s hearty drinking is renowned in the circle! Come on, Ms. Harlow, don’t embarrass me now.”

William eyed me stonily. “Apologize to Mr. Waterhouse, Giselle. Don’t bother showing up at work tomorrow if you can’t do as he says tonight.”

Upon hearing this, the man to whom William referred as “Mr. Waterhouse” began to leer at my chest. “Mr. Carter, you already have a lady to keep you company. How about you let me have Ms. Harlow for the night?”

With Sophie tucked closely against him, William stared at me evenly. “What do you think, Giselle?”

“Whatever you say goes. I have no comment,” I replied.

A dark look registered on William’s face. Suddenly, he hurled his wine glass on the floor and stormed out of the hall without so much as a backward glance.

Sophie glared at me, then hurried after him.

Frederick Waterhouse—Mr. Waterhouse’s full name—dared not make a move after William’s outburst startled him. He glanced at me hesitantly, unsure if William had permitted him to have me for the night.

I downed the rest of my drink dispassionately. “I hope you’ll take this as my apology.”

“Ms. Harlow, about tonight…”

He had only just made the suggestion when a coppery taste filled my mouth. I coughed up blood before I could stop myself.

Chapter 2 This time, Frederick was scared out of his wits. He stammered as he asked if I was alright.

I wiped the blood from the corner of my mouth and replied indifferently, “I’m fine, Mr. Waterhouse. Thanks for your concern.”

William had already left.

By the time I arrived at the parking lot, his Maybach was already gone. The breeze picked up, and I stopped in my tracks, crouching with my arms wrapped around my stomach.

I hadn’t had a proper meal in seven days, and my stomach now churned painfully. Shaking uncontrollably, I curled up into a ball. Just as I nearly passed out from the pain, I instinctively reached for the sun tattoo on my right wrist, my fingers grazing it as I muttered repeatedly under my breath, “Ty… Ty…”

Only then did I recover the strength to get back on my feet and trudge back to the Carter residence.

The sky had only just begun to break with first light.

I didn’t know if William had stayed up through the night or just gotten out of bed. He leaned against the door by the yard, a cigarette dangling from his lips as he eyed me impassively. “Was Mr. Waterhouse pleased with your services?”

I fell silent as the memory of Frederick’s stunned expression resurfaced.

William’s mouth twisted into a sneer. “How dare you come back here without giving your all to please the man?”

He left me out in the cold breeze for half an hour as punishment, and it wasn’t until Sophie had woken up and asked for breakfast that he let me into the house.

As the door swung open, my legs caved under my weight, and I collapsed.

William instinctively reached for me to hold me upright. His dark eyes narrowed, and his lips parted as if he wanted to say something to me.

However, Sophie interjected with a lighthearted giggle. “Trust me, I always have a hard time walking after William gives it to me good. My legs will be as weak as jelly! I’m assuming you had a great time last night, Giselle.”

William grimaced in disgust when he heard this and let go of me. I collapsed the moment I lost his support, and my knees hit the floor. The place where I’d had a screw hammered into my bone caused me to bleat in pain.

I bit my lower lip as I dragged myself into the kitchen with superhuman effort, then made breakfast for William and Sophie just the way they liked it.

Upon returning to my room, I swallowed painkillers and antidepressants. I barely got any rest before William barged in and dragged me out of bed. “Sophie got sick after she ate your cooking! Come with me to the hospital right now!”

He made quite a scene over the incident, summoning all the specialists in the hospital to examine Sophie, lest he miss something. No one dared to defy or question him, for he was the scion of the Carter family, the economic backbone of Ostenea.

“Anything you’d like to explain, Giselle?”

I met William’s confrontation with a dispassionate look. “It was my fault. Punish me if you must.”

William sneered, closing the distance between us in slow, predatory steps. “You don’t have to spell it out for me. I know you’re jealous of Sophie because she’s the one I’m marrying, not you. You must be disappointed that your years of hard work and scheming are all for naught.”

I leaned against the wall and met his gaze, my tone full of sincerity as I replied, “No, I’m thrilled for you. All I want is for you to be happy.”

It was Tyler’s wish for William to be happy.

As William and I locked eyes, I noticed the surprise flickering through his. He looked as if a part of his heart had caved in to emotions, and the feeling left him helpless.

He didn’t snap out of his daze until he heard a high-pitched, “Liam?”

“Ms. Harlow might not have meant for the food poisoning to happen. Let her off on a light punishment. Don’t be too hard on her,” Sophie said.

William gently stroked her hair, but his gaze darted over to where I stood outside the door. “Alright. We’ll forget about this, then.”

For a second, Sophie’s expression froze. What did William mean by that? Was he planning to let me off without a punishment?

Nonetheless, she forced a smile. “Okay!”

…

When I showed up at the company the next day, word of my rendezvous with Frederick the other night had already spread like wildfire among the staff. As I walked past the interns, Sophie shot me a gloating look.

My co-workers whispered among themselves, “Ms. Harlow has been with Mr. Carter for almost eight years, right? I heard she’s not even getting a paycheck! She’s practically free labor. There are prostitutes who make more than she does.”

“She can grovel at Mr. Carter’s feet and cling to him for all I care. She’s still no match for Sophie. Mr. Carter probably orders Ms. Harlow around like a dog. To him, she’s just a toy he can share with others.”

I ignored the vicious gossip.

While I was handing in the signed letter of termination along with the handover paperwork, I spotted the wedding invitation on William’s office desk. However, the address of the wedding venue was what had me dumbstruck.

William and Sophie planned to tie the knot in Briarwood.

But why Briarwood, of all places?

It was where I’d first met Tyler. More importantly, it was where Tyler had been buried, and his tombstone was still there.

Chapter 3 “Since you saw it, I might as well give you a heads-up.” William’s voice sounded behind me. “Sophie said Briarwood has amazing views. I remember you were from Briarwood, so I figured you could supervise the decorating process and double as Sophie’s tour guide.”

I lifted my gaze to him. He was about to say something else, but when he saw my eyes turn red with tears, he held his tongue.

This was the first time in eight years I’d ever shown such vulnerability before him.

“Giselle? Are you crying?” William’s voice was a little hoarse. “I won’t make you go to Briarwood if you mind it that much.”

Everyone in the industry knew I loved William to the moon and back. He could treat me however he wanted, and I wouldn’t retaliate or throw a fit, much less shed a tear. Yet, despite how much I loved him, he still chose to marry another woman and hold a wedding in my hometown.

As I re-examined these facts, I couldn’t help but find that even for someone as cruel as William, he’d crossed the line.

William sighed. I recovered before he could suggest pushing back the wedding. It was as if I hadn’t just teared up. I asked blandly, “No, I don’t mind. When do we leave?”

His fists, which had been tightly clenched just moments ago, relaxed at his sides. “This weekend. You can get out of the picture once the wedding’s over.”

I voiced my agreement. I’d been helping William gain a strong footing in the Carter Group all these years, solving one problem after another for him. I’d do anything he asked and give him everything he wanted, even if the costs were unrealistic.

And now, my mission was finally coming to an end.

…

We touched down in Briarwood that weekend.

While Briarwood was a nice city, it was located near the border, where things could get rather chaotic. William had arranged security for Sophie and checked into the fanciest hotel in the city.

With false thoughtfulness, Sophie suggested, “William, with all the hard work Ms. Harlow has done, maybe we should let her stay with her family while we’re here. It’s not often she comes home. She must miss them a lot.”

William didn’t even turn to look at me. “Did you get that, Giselle? You may go home if you wish.”

I nodded obediently.

He’d probably forgotten the first thing I said to him when I offered to become his secretary eight years ago. I’d told him I didn’t have any family and begged him to let me stay by his side.

…

That night, I checked into a derelict motel.

I had a nightmare where bullets rained down from the sky and corpses were strewn everywhere.

I bolted upright, beads of cold sweat ran down my skin. Then, rummaging through the innermost layer of my suitcase, I pulled out two items from my suitcase: a lucky charm and a diary with a password lock.

I went back to sleep with those items tucked tightly in my arms.

…

The next day, a few of William’s close friends, who also happened to be his groomsmen, touched down in Briarwood.

“Oh, my, I didn’t think Ms. Harlow was still working for you, William.”

William exhaled a cloud of cigarette smoke as a cocky look flashed in his eye, snorting. “Yeah, she was born to be a lapdog. It’s in her nature to be clingy.”

I’d been silent throughout their exchange. Then, I suddenly spoke up. “I seem to recall you telling me to get out of your sight once the wedding’s over. I’ve already handed in my resignation and completed my handover. I will leave, don’t worry.”

A hush fell upon the room.

William must have felt embarrassed, for his eyes narrowed dangerously at me. He breathed out another mouthful of cigarette smoke, this time in my face. Contempt laced his every word as he drawled, “You think you can leave me that easily, Giselle?”

I was the one who’d shielded him from danger and taken his place in prison after the company ran into a crisis. For him, I could abandon my pride, reputation, future, and even my life. It was as if protecting him was the sole purpose of my existence.

He doubted I’d leave him, not when I was crazily in love with him. He didn’t buy my story for even a second. “Come on, don’t tell me you’ve learned to play hard to get, Giselle.”

His friends burst into laughter.

“I am curious, though, if Ms. Harlow is as obliging as the rumors made her out to be. Has she truly never given you shit for picking on her?”

William quirked a brow. “Feel free to try it yourself.”

The person who’d spoken earlier kicked me in the shin, forcing me to kneel. He deliberately tapped the ashes of his newly lit cigarette onto my palm. The ashes burned me, but I didn’t so much as blink.

Encouraged by my silence, he smirked and reached to tear my clothes out of the way. However, he stopped when he saw the horrible, grotesque scars that mapped my skin. “What the hell are these marks on your body? They’re disgusting!”

Upon hearing this, William glanced over, but I’d already straightened my shirt collar.

He must have thought his friend was talking about hickies, for he eyed me with bare disgust.

“What, did Mr. Waterhouse leave those on you?” He chuckled dryly. “I must say, you’re quite wild in bed when it comes to screwing older men.”

I lowered my gaze, baffled. William seemed oblivious to the kind of torture I’d suffered at the hands of those kidnappers, which was odd, considering they’d acted under his orders.

Chapter 4 William’s friends were done teasing me as night began to fall. They were also losing interest in tormenting me. “We can see why you didn’t pick Ms. Harlow now, William. She has a pretty face, but zero personality. What a buzzkill.”

I kept my head down as I got to my feet, distant and unaffected.

William walked ahead of his friends, his eyes devoid of sympathy as he took in my miserable, bedraggled state. “She’s just as boring in bed, believe me. You’ve no idea how much I wanted to retch whenever I looked at her plain, expressionless face.”

…

On the day of the wedding, the lawn by the lake had been decorated with a red carpet and fresh flowers. It looked like a scene right out of a romantic movie.

Sophie donned a glamorous wedding dress, delicately lifting the skirts as she slowly glided down the aisle toward William, the portrait of a demure bride.

I smiled as I clutched the lucky charm nestled against my chest.

I sent up a quiet thought to Tyler. “Are you seeing this, Tyler? The day is finally here. I promised you I’d watch William build a career and settle down.”

On stage, William froze when he noticed my smile and glittering eyes. I should be heartbroken and devastated at this moment. Why was I smiling and looking at him with a never-before-seen glimmer in my eyes?

He wondered if this was one of my tricks to get his attention. If it were, he’d have to congratulate me for pulling it off.

Realizing William was not looking at her, Sophie followed his gaze. Her expression darkened when she saw me, especially when she spotted the item I was clutching.

“Ms. Harlow, what is the meaning of this? Did you deliberately bring this token of love you once shared with William to spite and embarrass me on our wedding day?”

The audience flew into an uproar and began to hurl abuse at me.

William went still, then smirked as he summoned the bodyguards to pin my hands and feet down. He stepped off the stage and tugged the chain off my neck, assessing the lucky charm hanging on it.

A few seconds later, he sputtered. “What do you know? It really is the lucky charm I got for you eight years ago, the one that was part of a his-and-hers set.”

William had the counterpart to my lucky charm, only his was the moon, while mine was the sun.

“It’s not a token of love, but since it gave Sophie the wrong idea, I’ll just throw it away.” He ignored the tears in my bloodshot eyes and tossed the lucky charm into the lake like it was trash. “It’s just a stupid lucky charm—”

I didn’t wait for him to finish speaking, for the minute those bodyguards released me, I leaped over the barricade around the lake and into the waters. As the icy lakewater swallowed me, I heard a man roaring angrily, “Are you out of your mind, Giselle?”

No, I was perfectly sane. I would only lose my mind if I lost the lucky charm Tyler gave me.

Remembering that I could swim, William raised a hand to stop those who wanted to jump into the lake to save me. “Let her fish the lucky charm out herself! She deserves it for bringing it here and flaunting it. This will teach her a lesson.”

…

Five hours later, the wedding ceremony ended. Fatigue washed over me, my wounds were infected, and my flesh was turning white and prunish from the icy lakewater. Yet, I still could not find the lucky charm.

Sodden and cold, I trudged over to the Cemetery of the Martyrs, whereupon I crouched and wrapped my arms around my knees. Silent tears streamed down my cheeks, mixing with the water on my skin.

“I miss you so much, Tyler. I’ve carried out my promise to you. I’ve protected William and taken good care of him, but I’m tired. I’ll look for you now, okay?”

When William found me at the cemetery, he saw me leaning forward and placing a kiss on one of the tombstones. A stormy look registered on his face as he demanded through gritted teeth, “Who the hell is this dead guy, Giselle?”