I Love You, Emlyn Young

Chapter 1 Taking Her From Behind It was night.

The woman was flipped over, lying on her stomach. The young, muscular man pressed against her back as usual. His large bony hands trailed down her back heatedly and reached into her silk underwear. He hooked the sides of her panties with his fingers and pulled them down.

Emlyn Young woke up in shock and grabbed the man’s hand subconsciously. The familiar weight and warmth caused her whole body to tense up.

She could smell the alcohol on him again!

She recalled what Eve Young had said today and twisted her body, resisting agitatedly. She was determined not to let him take her from behind ever again.

“Hunter Shield!” She twisted her body and looked at him angrily. “You always press my head into the pillow. Is it because you are afraid to see that you’re sleeping with me and not my sister!?”

Emlyn’s chest heaved. She thought that she had already become strong, but Eve’s words today had still broken through her armor, melting it and turning it into liquid metal that burned her skin.

Hunter had never slept with her when she was awake and had always taken her from behind. He had also never once looked at her face while they had sex.

Hunter wanted to get up and leave. The moment he moved, Emlyn rose and hooked her arms around his neck and pulled him down toward her. She said, “You’re not allowed to leave! Look at me! I am your legal wife!”

“Hunter Shield! The woman beneath you is me, Emlyn Young! I am Eve’s elder sister! I am not the one who forced you to marry me two years ago. Your grandfather was the one who could not bear the societal pressure and forced you to marry me!”

Hunter sobered up quickly when Emlyn mentioned what had happened two years ago. His handsome face immediately grew frosty and he pressed down viciously on Emlyn’s collarbone. He pressed it so forcefully that it was as if he wanted to shatter her bones. He said, “If you hadn’t been up to your tricks, Eve would have married me!”

“I didn’t play any tricks! It doesn’t matter whether you believe me or not!”

“You didn’t?” Hunter did not grow angry. Instead, he laughed sarcastically and coldly. “You got Eve drunk and spiked my drink. Otherwise, would I have slept with you? And would we have just happened to be caught by the media at the hotel? If not for that time, my grandfather would not have used his life to threaten me and forced me to marry you for the sake of the family’s reputation!”

Emlyn had loved Hunter for eleven years. Everyone in Jin City knew about it.

However, Hunter was in love with Eve. Everyone in Jin City knew about that too.

Nobody would believe that Emlyn had not played any tricks.

Emlyn felt bitter about this but she smiled proudly and said, “So what! You married me in the end!”

“I do not love you!”

“I don’t want your love! The love I had for you has already been ground away completely by this pathetic marriage!” Emlyn yelled hysterically. She was afraid that if her voice was too soft, it would reveal how weak she was.

Weakness would make her look pathetic in this relationship in which she loved him but he did not love her back.

She found his love worthless because she could not have it. At least, in this way, she could still retain the ridiculous, pathetic, and tiny amount of dignity she still had.

Hunter was furious for some reason! He had already sobered up completely. This was his first time he’d torn off her pajamas while he was completely sober!

“Didn’t you want me to look you in the face? I will as long as you think you can take it!”

Emlyn could not take it. Hunter had never been so violent before. He treated her as if she were his enemy and thrust himself inside of her!

“Hunter Shield! Are you trying to kill me?”

“That’s right! I wanted to kill you two years ago!”

Two years ago, on the day before he and Eve were to be engaged, Emlyn had taken his arm and said to the reporters who had broken through the doors without any embarrassment, “That’s right. We slept together last night. I gave him my virginity.”

He had really wanted to kill her then!

Emlyn’s bones were almost shattered by the beast-like man.

Hunter was satiated by Emlyn’s body and got out of bed as usual. He would take a shower and then go to sleep in a different room.

Emlyn sat up and thought about what Eve had said. She thought of their marriage of two years, which had been completely devoid of any warmth, and said, “Hunter, let’s get a divorce.”

She pulled the blankets up to cover her naked body and sighed, saying, “I admit to being responsible for all those mistakes. Even though I was not the one to plot against you back then, if you insist on thinking like this, I will admit to it. Let’s get a divorce.”

Emlyn had never dared to bring up the word “divorce”. She felt that if she mentioned it, her love, which was as pure and clear as a crystal ball, would be shattered, But she now knew that she would never be able to have this man. He was like a rock that she would never be able to warm up.

Tears did not fall from her eyes. Instead, they all flowed into her heart. Her tears were too salty and they stung the many wounds in her heart.

Hunter stopped and turned around. He looked into Emlyn’s eyes, which were full of laughter. He suddenly hated how uncaring she was.

A cool curve tugged at the corners of his lips as he said, “Divorce? Why should I?”

“Wouldn’t it be nice if I gave up my title as Mrs. Shield to the woman you love?” Her smile was just as brilliant as before.

“As you wish.”

He shut the door with a loud thud when he left the room. His arrogance was befitting of the young master of the Shield family.

Chapter 2 Planning for a Divorce At ten the next morning:

Hunter had just ended his morning meeting and returned to the director’s office. His secretary handed him a brown envelope and said, “Boss, Madam sent this over.”

Hunter opened the brown envelope and was shocked to see the words ‘Divorce Agreement’ inside.

He threw the envelope down on the table angrily.

There was a fire in his lungs which he wanted to expel. He undid a button on his shirt. Emlyn had already angered him several times since last night.

A divorce? Why should she be the one to initiate a divorce?!

Emlyn wanted to go home and tell her father that she had already initiated a divorce with Hunter.

The servants of the Young family were nowhere to be seen downstairs. She went upstairs to the study to look for Boris Young.

However, she heard a conversation she should have never heard outside the study.

“Dad, will everything in the Young family go to me?” It was the voice of her younger sister, Eve.

“Of course, Emlyn and Hunter have been married for two years. Her mother’s will has come into effect. In the future, the shares that belonged to her mother before her death will all be yours! Everything that I have will also go to you in the future.”

“That’s great. Auntie Elizabeth is really impossible. If she hadn’t had such a will, I wouldn’t have had to plot to deliver Hunter straight into Emlyn’s hands!”

“Sigh, she loves Emlyn the most, so she naturally wants Emlyn to marry the man she loves. Anyway, Emlyn doesn’t want anything other than Hunter.”

“Dad, since Auntie Elizabeth’s shares are now mine, I want Hunter now! I want them to divorce!”

“Eve, wait a little longer for everything to calm down. Hunter doesn’t like Emlyn. You know that, so you can breathe easy.”

“No! I can’t. Hunter has kept a clear distance from me ever since his marriage. He has always acted like a good husband. If I don’t steal him back, I’m afraid that I won’t ever have a chance with him again!”

Emlyn stood outside. Her head felt heavy, her body swayed, and she almost fell.

Her father had plotted against her, involving her in a scandal and forcing her into marriage just so he could take her mother’s shares and give them to Eve.

Now that they had gotten those shares, they were going to plan for her divorce!

Her father even intended to leave all of his wealth to her younger sister!

What was she in this family?

After being married for two years, she had neither a home nor a family.

Emlyn turned around. Her heart burst with pain and she could not breathe. Walking difficultly, she felt as if she was almost running out of oxygen. She could only walk down the stairs holding on to the railings.

She would not let Eve and the others get what they wanted!

She definitely wouldn’t allow them to succeed so easily!

No way!

Emlyn had only just gotten into the taxi when Hunter called her. He said, “I’m at the Civil Affairs Bureau. Come here.”

“I’m not getting a divorce.”

“Emlyn! You tricked me!”

Emlyn’s mind still felt as if it was running out of oxygen and she spoke loudly. However, there was a buzzing sound in her ears and she could not even hear her voice clearly.

As such, she screamed hysterically, “Hunter Shield! Dream on! I will never let the two of you be together! Even if I were to die, I would hang on to the title of Mrs. Shield and rot! It’s fine if you do not love me! I don’t need you to love me! I haven’t loved you since a long time ago! I just want that annoying Eve to never get the man she loves! I want to see her in pain! I want her to kneel down before me and beg me. I want her to beg me to let her have you. I won’t let her have you! I will never let her have you. I want her to die in pain!”

Emlyn hung up.

She was mad! She was so angry that she was going mad!

She was trembling and she felt as if her heart was about to explode.

Hunter was shocked by Emlyn’s blazing rage. When Emlyn stated again and again that she no longer loved him, he felt his heart being torn apart layer by layer. A ferocious expression appeared on his face!

He had always known that Emlyn and Eve did not get along. They had been born to different mothers and this was nothing new for a wealthy family.

However, when he found out that he was being used as a tool by Emlyn to seek revenge on Eve with, he felt enraged for the first time in their two years of marriage!

So for the past 11 years, Emlyn, who had announced her love for him everywhere, even in the newspapers, had done it all just to steal him from Eve and to seek revenge against her?

Hunter felt as if there was a storm raging in his heart. He slowly clenched his fists so tightly that his hands turned pale!

Chapter 3 You’re Asking to be F*cked The W Restaurant’s signboard flashed with neon lights in the night.

Emlyn strode on her high heels towards where Hunter and Eve were eating inside the restaurant.

Hunter looked very at ease and did not feel discomfited by Emlyn’s arrival. The coldness and distance in his eyes were meant for Emlyn.

Emlyn looked at the provocative smile on Eve’s face. It had been two years, but Hunter had never treated her to a meal.

She would have had just tolerated it in the past but she wouldn’t do that now!

Emlyn picked up Hunter’s wine glass and clinked it against Eve’s. Then, she took a sip from it and said, “Happy Birthday!”

Eve raised her glass gently and beautifully, saying, “Thank you, Emlyn.”

Emlyn quirked her brows and said, “My husband used our common funds to treat you to a meal, so I do have a share in this. You are right to thank me.”

Eve paled and looked at Hunter pleadingly. However, the man looked as if he did not see her and continued cutting up his steak elegantly.

“Emlyn, you can’t say that. You didn’t have much of a dowry when you married Hunter. Assets that belong to one party are not considered shared assets after marriage.”

“Of course I didn’t have much of a dowry. After all, it’s all going to be left to you, right?”

Eve felt self-conscious and said, “Emlyn!”

“This red wine is very expensive, but I just feel like wasting it.” Then, Emlyn splashed the rest of the wine at Eve’s face forcefully. She returned Eve’s provocative smile and said, “You called me here just to upset me, right? You’ve gotten your birthday wish. Are you happy?”

Eve screamed and stood up, wiping her face with a tissue as she said, “Argh! Emlyn! You’re crazy!”

Emlyn set the glass down. Hunter stood up and grabbed her hands, saying coldly, “Apologize to Eve.”

Eve? That sounded so intimate. “No!”

“Apologize!”

Eve pushed Hunter’s hand away pitifully and said, “Hunter, forget it! It’s alight. Maybe Emlyn is in a bad mood today.”

Hunter was very cold. Every single word Emlyn said had been designed to aggravate Eve by making use of him. How could he possibly let her off since she had used him as a tool for her revenge? “Apologize to Eve!”

The more Hunter cared for Eve, the more stubborn Emlyn felt. She said, “No matter whether the wine was drunk or poured, it’s all on her or inside her. It all belongs to her. I was not wrong. I don’t need to apologize!”

Hunter dragged Emlyn out of the restaurant, ignoring what others were saying about him and forcing her into the car.

He shut the door and they sped away.

“Hunter! Let me out!”

“Emlyn! You’re asking to be f*cked!” They had been married for two years, but Hunter had never once argued with Emlyn. He always treated her with disdain.

Yet, when he thought of his place in Emlyn’s heart at that moment, there seemed to be an irrepressible fire in his heart he could not stamp out!

Emlyn had been surrounded by negative energy all day and she needed some release. She said, “That’s right! I’m asking to be f*cked! It’s because you’re a terrible husband!”

The corners of Hunter’s lips lifted and he was enveloped by a dangerous aura!

The car entered the suburbs and drove onto a dark road. Emlyn started to feel afraid and she asked, “Hunter, what are you up to?”

She gripped her seatbelt tightly. Hunter leaned over her and said, “What am I up to? I’m going to do my duty and make sure you won’t be asking to be f*cked in the future!”

Chapter 4 I Hope She Dies The car shook violently on the dark roads in the suburbs. A woman screamed inside the car, but no one heard her…

“Hunter, I love you so much, but you can’t see it. Instead, you love that evil woman! Are you blind?!”

Why would Hunter believe Emlyn? The love she was talking about was just her seeking revenge on Eve!

The real evil woman was Emlyn!

He thrust even harder to punish her when he thought of that. He said, “It’s not up to you to tell me who I love!”

Emlyn gritted her teeth and bore down on the man’s madness.

A phone rang. It was Hunter’s. The name on the screen indicated that it was Boris Young calling.

Hunter was still on top of Emlyn when he picked up the call. A middle-aged man could be heard crying, “Hunter! Hunter! Eve is committing suicide. She wants to see you one last time!”

This was the first time Hunter had ever left before satisfying his sexual needs.

The car sped along the road back to the city. Emlyn fiddled with her fingers and said, “Eve might not die but we might get into a traffic accident. We might even become a pair of ghost lovers.”

Hunter saw the smirk on Emlyn’s face. Had the woman achieved her goals?

Her younger sister was about to die. Was her revenge over?

“Shut up!”

“Are you worried? Afraid? Are you afraid that you will never see her ever again?”

“Emlyn, you’re so cold-blooded! She’s your younger sister.”

“My mother only had one daughter. Where did this younger sister come from?”

Emlyn knew very well that Eve would not really commit suicide. Eve was a scheming person and was even willing to send the man she loved into the bed of another woman. Was there anything else that she wouldn’t do? She still wanted Hunter after all.

She was pretending to commit suicide just to force Hunter to divorce Emlyn.

Emlyn did not go to the hospital. Hunter went alone.

Hunter did not return home for three days. However, Emlyn vomited non-stop for those three days. She vomited so much that her mouth tasted bitter and her throat swelled up. She could only go to the hospital for treatment.

In the end, it was confirmed that she was pregnant with twins.

Twins!

God was playing a huge joke on her.

She and Hunter did not get along at all. Was a pregnancy really something to celebrate?

Emlyn gripped the test results tightly and paced around in the hospital’s corridor, not knowing where to go. Her heart soared and sank and her mind was filled with doubts such as ‘What should I do?’ and ‘How did this happen?’

She went to look for another gynecologist to read her test results.

There was a pile of patient files beside the doctor’s arms. She did not even look up as she said, “You’re pregnant. Do you want to keep the children? If not, you should get rid of them as soon as possible. If they get bigger, you will suffer more when you get rid of them.”

Emlyn was shocked when she heard the words ‘get rid of them’. She fled the room as if she had seen a ghost and ran out of the hospital. Then, she sat down on the stone steps outside, covered her face with her hands, and started to cry.

If the twins were there to compensate her for all she had experienced in the past two years, then she wanted to leave everything behind and continue living well.

After taking a long time to calm down, she took out her phone and called Hunter. She said, “Hunter, come home for dinner today. I have something to tell you.”

“She hasn’t recovered yet.”

“I have something more important to tell you.”

“Handle it yourself.”

“I’ll wait for you. If you don’t come, I will go to the hospital and pull out Eve’s oxygen tube!”

Emlyn said angrily and hung up.

She made three dishes and a soup that night. They had been married for two years but had never had dinner together. They would have to behave like a family when they had children in the future.

The dishes had only just been placed on the table and were still piping hot when the sounds of the digital door lock being unlocked could be heard. Emlyn ran to open the door and smiled at the man outside. However, Hunter’s handsome face was filled with exhaustion and coldness.

Hunter’s tall and broad figure swept past Emlyn. He smelt like the disinfectant used in hospitals. He said as he walked upstairs, “I’m going to take a shower and will go to the hospital afterward. I will come and pick you up tomorrow to pick up our divorce certificate.”

The tasty dishes became an accompaniment for the icy cold topic.

Emlyn stood downstairs wearing slippers and a pale pinkish grey ruffled apron. She had become thin over the past few days and seemed even more slender than usual. Her eyes looked bigger as she stared at the stairs.

She waited.

Hunter showered and changed before heading downstairs. When he walked past her, she grabbed his arm and said, “Stay home tonight. I have something to talk to you about. There are carers in the hospital.”

“She can’t be without me now.”

“I can’t be without you either.”

Hunter pulled Emlyn’s hand away somewhat forcefully and said, “Emlyn, you have never wanted to die for me.”

Emlyn clenched her toes in pain and her eyes grew teary. However, she smiled. Did he want her to die so much?

Chapter 5 I Still Hate You Loving him was very difficult, but she had still done it. So why should she die? “I won’t die. If I die, another woman will sleep in my bed, have children with you, and hit my children. What kind of a fool would I be if I were to die? I wouldn’t be happy even if I were a ghost.”

Hunter flung Emlyn’s hand away and said, “Go away!”

Hunter had only been in the hospital for ten minutes when Emlyn hurried over.

She was still wearing what she had worn at home and the apron was still tied around her waist. She had not even changed out of her slippers and she looked very out of place in the hospital.

She stood beside Eve’s bed and looked at Hunter. She said, “Come home with me. She would never die like this.”

Hunter pointed at the woman lying on the bed with closed eyes and said softly, “Emlyn! She is your younger sister!”

“You are my husband! She has parents who can take care of her! What are you doing here?!”

Emlyn could not control her temper and she clenched her fists!

Hunter laughed sarcastically and said, “What am I doing here? Don’t you know?”

Emlyn bit her lips. Of course she knew. She knew that the only woman the man wanted to marry was Eve!

He had been forced to marry Emlyn.

She could have given up but she was now pregnant. She had to fight. She had to fight so that her children could have a father! From now on, Hunter had to bear the responsibility of being a father!

“I don’t care whether you love her or not or how much you love her. You are my husband! You should stay by my side!”

“Emlyn, is it so important to you to have me? Is it that important to make Eve unhappy?”

“It’s important!” If she kept him with her, her child would have a father and their family would be complete.

Hunter’s heart sank when he heard Emlyn’s reply. Emlyn had treated him as a tool with which to seek revenge on Eve. Why would he let her off so easily? “I won’t let you have what you want, Emlyn. The person I love is Eve. When she recovers, I will divorce you and marry her! You have to agree even if you don’t want to! In Jin City, you might be able to one-up Eve, but not me!”

Hunter finally felt a little better after uttering those callous words. He would not allow himself to become a tool!

Emlyn inhaled and exhaled deeply. Every single oxygen molecule that entered her was like a glass shard that pierced her lungs. Her lungs hurt; breathing truly hurt…

Both Boris Young and Eve’s mother, Ruby Worth, were present. Ruby comforted Hunter gently by saying, “Hunter, don’t be angry. Even though Emlyn doesn’t think of Eve as her younger sister, it doesn’t matter. She will understand when she grows up. After all, Eve has always said that blood is thicker than water.”

She was implying that Eve cared very much for her sister while Emlyn was just a cold-blooded and uncaring woman.

Emlyn felt as if she was about to go mad. These people were truly disgusting. They had taken her mother’s shares, set her up and forced her to marry Hunter, and made the man she loved hate her. Now, they were even going to make her children lose their father. If she could not have her way, nobody could!

Emlyn charged forward and tore out the needle that was attached to the back of Eve’s hand. Eve, who had been pretending to be comatose, frowned and then relaxed.

Hunter pushed Emlyn away and yelled, “Emlyn! How dare you hurt Eve!”

Emlyn hit the frame of the bed and watched as her husband looked at her as if she were his enemy in his quest to protect another woman.

Emlyn smiled bitterly and said, “Hunter, do you know the true colors of the woman you love?”

“Her true colors are much better than yours!”

“Do you not care even if she once hurt you? Will you still love her?”

Hunter had been forced into a corner by Emlyn. He hated it when Emlyn was like that. What kind of hatred would make this woman fight with her younger sister for eleven years regardless of the cost she would have to bear?

She would even sacrifice herself for it?

“So what if she hurt me? I still love her! And I still hate you!”

Hunter was very much satisfied! He could see the light in Emlyn’s eyes dying away. It was the dimming light of someone who had been defeated!

He had won!

Emlyn exhaled loudly and her shoulders slumped. She had lost. She had lost completely. Was the love between Hunter and Eve true love? She was indeed the third party, just like Eve had said.

The person who was not loved in the relationship was the third party…

What was the point of it all? She had lowered her head and loved him. Her head had been hung so low, her back was bent. Now that she wanted to straighten back up, her heart and lungs, which had been compressed, hurt so much from all the tugging and pulling.

“Is that right?” Emlyn laughed loudly. “Do you know who set us up two years ago?”

Boris’s and Ruby’s expressions darkened when they heard that. Eve’s eyelids twitched as she continued lying in the bed.

Chapter 6 It Was Time to Let Go “Slap!” Boris struck Emlyn across the face forcefully.

Emlyn lost her balance and hit the wall. There was a ringing sound in her ear and she heard Boris yelling, “Your younger sister is about to die and you’re still making trouble here! How evil can you be! If you’re not here to visit, then scram!”

Ruby also charged at Emlyn and started to push and kick her. “You’ve never liked her since you two were children and now you want her to die! Is that right? How can you be so vicious! To think that I have always treated you as my own!”

Boris grabbed Emlyn’s wrist and dragged her out of the room, “Get out! I don’t have a daughter like you!”

Emlyn tried to peel Boris’ hands off her while Ruby went forward to help drag her out as well.

Emlyn turned to look at Hunter, who approached them quickly, and said, “Hunter! I already told you! I didn’t set you up! The person who set you up is the woman you love!”

Hunter looked at the blood trickling from the corners of Emlyn’s mouth and dragged her away from Boris. He held her even more tightly than Boris had.

His vision turned red when he saw the blood escaping from the corners of her mouth. He asked, “What did you say!?”

Emlyn curled backward in pain. Boris said frantically, “Hunter! Don’t listen to the nonsense she’s spewing! She has never liked her younger sister!”

Hunter used his free hand to grab Ruby’s shoulders as she approached to continue dragging Emlyn out. He stared at Emlyn, exuding a terrifying aura. He was very terrifying as he said, “Say that one more time!”

Emlyn panted and said, “My father and Eve set you up because my mother knew that I liked you since I was a child. In her will, she wrote that she would give Eve all her shares once we had been married for two years. My mother thought that we would have a child in two years and that our marriage would be stable by then. That’s why my father set you up two days before you were to be engaged to Eve so that she could get everything. The media found us because of him and the Shield family forced you to marry me to save their reputation…”

Boris screamed self-consciously, “Nonsense!”

“I am not making things up. You can go and check where the shares went.” Emlyn looked at Hunter, who was much taller than her. She frowned bitterly, sparkling liquid pooling in her eyes as she continued, “Hunter, you have always felt that you have been wronged, that I was the one who made you lose the woman you love. But did you know? I am the most pitiful player in this whole sorry affair! My father set me up to take my mother’s shares for his other daughter. Even though I like you, I was also my mother’s precious child, treated like a princess. I am also a very proud person. I also want to marry someone who likes me. I want to be happy too. I want to be loved too. You gave me all your hatred and it’s been two years. I have accepted all the hate that you have given me even though I was innocent of everything!”

Hunter’s breathing was ragged as he watched Emlyn slide down against the snow-white wall. There were beads of sweat on her face and when he tried to pull her up, she continued to slide downwards, her face growing paler and paler.

“What’s wrong?” He had never once shown concern to her and had never asked how she was.

Emlyn breathed deeply several times. Her voice grew softer and softer because of the pain coming from her abdomen. She said, “My stomach… it hurts… like there’s a knife carving at it… it hurts.”

Hunter looked down and saw that Emlyn was cradling her stomach with her hands. There was more and more blood flowing down from between her legs and her expression was growing more and more pained.

The man felt his scalp tingling and he let go of her wrist, scooping her up into his arms. He said, “Emlyn! What are you hiding from me!?”

“I wanted to tell you last night that I’m… pregnant.” Emlyn grabbed his collar and stared at his jaw. This was her first time seeing him looking so worried and running around for her. She felt sad and her heart began to hurt.

“I thought that we would finally have a family. Even if you didn’t love me, it’d be fine. You might like children. Even if you don’t like them at first, perhaps they’ll look like you and you might grow to like them.”

She gasped with pain.

“Don’t say anything anymore!” Hunter ran around like a headless chicken with Emlyn in his arms. He shouted, “Doctor! Doctor!”

Blood dripped from Emlyn’s bottom, leaving behind a vibrant color in the cold and sterile corridor.

Hunter turned around in fear and saw the trail of blood. It was shocking.

All his muscles had tensed up and his heart contracted tightly.

Why was he so afraid?

He had not even been so afraid when he had heard that Eve had attempted suicide. But when Emlyn bled, he felt so afraid that he could not even make a sound.

Emlyn was very weak as she said, “The baby is gone. Perhaps that’s the retribution I deserve. Heaven is punishing me for keeping you by my side forcibly without any care for your happiness. That’s why God gave me the baby and is now taking it away cruelly… If I had just known my place and agreed to a divorce, perhaps, perhaps my baby would have been able to grow bigger in my belly… I… It really is time to let go…”